temp title - Beyond the Bounds of Earth
by Izora Jade
Summary: cutting [once], AU to all hell, cursing, m/m relationships, not a happy ending -- Heero's family begins to fall apart as he mets the wonky new kid who's too smart for his own good, however now he's the only person Heero can rely on to help him through his
1. Part One

Begin Part One (revised)

          Heero felt like killing someone. 

          He was humiliated. Someone had filled his presentation for computer tech with porn files. Not only was he suspended for a week, but he finally broke into tears of frustration and lost all the rest of the respect the administration had for him. 

          But he didn't do it! He would never do something like that! He needed perfection and that was far from perfection!

          He pulled into a Starbucks, almost hitting a tree while he parked. Anger was still burning like wildfire though his veins. 

          Stalking into the almost empty café, he glared at the pretty-boy behind the counter.

          He blinked a few times and shuffled his feet nervously before asking what he would like. 

          Heero almost missed his words, due to his intense anger.

          "I'll have a regular coffee, black," he finally growled, and the boy hopped to his order. 

          "I have always wondered," the boy spoke softly, "why humans are so quick to anger. It causes only pain. Anger is caused from situations that can be easily rationalized. There is no good from being angry, so why not think and find the source of your anger and take the energy that is caused from this emotion and use this energy to find and carry out a better solution to the problem?" He set the coffee on the counter and met Heero's eyes briefly before looking at the floor. "However, some people tell me I think too much...."

          Heero stared at him and slowly realized that this boy was right and the anger he had felt was slowly ebbing away.

          There was nothing he could do in being angry, but maybe if he calmed himself, he could think of something. 

          "That will be a dollar twenty five." 

          Heero pulled out two bills from his back pocket and set them on the counter. The boy took them and handed him back his change. 

          Pausing momentarily, Heero murmured a quiet thank you before picking up his coffee and heading out of the café, hoping that the boy had understood that he wasn't only thanking him for the coffee. 

          Heero believed that he did. 

          The next week was near torture for Heero. 

          A bulk of the time he spent in his room, practicing his violin or reading and generally avoiding his parents and the computer. 

          Right then, the computer, which he loved, was a sign of dishonor and failure, and he could hardly stand to look at it. He didn't even realize that was why he felt such loathing toward it.

          And he was dreading Monday. 

          He was sure that by now the rumors were all over the school. He began to wish that he'd never listened to what that guy at Starbucks said because anger was certainly a hundred times better than the dread the was slowly forming in the pit of his stomach with each passing day. He wasn't sure if he feared anything as much as he feared this.

          Little did he know, it wasn't so much the comments that he would get, but the school that really upset him. It was just another sign of his failure and he couldn't handle that. 

          He had been raised since birth to be perfect. He was an only child of two rich doctors who demanded perfection not only in the workplace, but in their home as well. He had learned quickly as a young child that messing up resulted in punishment and he was raised to fear punishment.

          Thus he had been raised with an extreme fear of rejection if he could not achieve perfection. Every aspect of his life had to flawless or he would be considered a failure and unworthy of anything. 

          Heero stared down at his knees that Sunday night, worry eating at him, as he sat up on his bed, going over everything he could have done differently because right then, he was unworthy. He should have double-checked the disks before running them in class. He should have been more careful with where he left them. If he weren't so stupid, this wouldn't have happened. How could he be such an idiot? How could he have let something so easily avoidable happen? If he had any brain in his empty head he could have prevented it. It was no wonder no one was interested in such a dumbass as him. Sure, he'd been accepted into Harvard, but who gave a damn? He was just a number, he wasn't a person. Why should he be allowed to be a person? He would only fuck the world up further, after all, with his stupid mistakes. He hoped no one even became the least interested in him. He couldn't be married and have a family. He'd just fuck that up too. He would do more harm than good. Dear Lord, there's blood. Where is this blood coming from? Probably another stupid act he committed. He probably hurt himself, the dumb fuck. All he deserved was to be hurt, but no no....

          "Look what you did," he cussed at himself as he wiped his wet eyes with his hands, just smearing blood across his face. "You're so fucking stupid, you hurt yourself. You're such a failure that you can't even stop yourself from hurting yourself. My God, it's no fucking wonder I'm unloved by everyone. What did I do to deserve it? Nothing.... I just hurt myself. It's better I'm hurting myself than someone else. It's better this way.... My God, it hurts.... But pain, no. Pain is weak. Why can't I stand up against the pain?" he cried in anguish, tears slipping faster down his cheeks, blood mixing with them as he kept trying to wipe them away. "Don't cry you stupid fuck! Don't cry! You've got be stronger than that! Stop hurting yourself! Why can't you stop? Why can't I be right...? Why didn't my parents love me...? Well that's obvious. If you deserved it they would've! You don't deserve anything, Heero, you're lucky! You're lucky, so why in the hell are you hurting yourself? You're so fucking childish! You're so fucking weak! Suck it up you goddamn baby!" 

          He cried out in pain as he dug the pocketknife once more into his wrist. It hurt so fucking much.... Why wasn't he stronger than that? He'd been raised so well, why wasn't he stronger than that?! Why was he crying?! Why? He should be able to withstand any pain! He had to be stronger than that! He there was couldn't fail! He couldn't fail anymore!

          That morning Heero found he couldn't figure out how he had gotten blood all over his sheets and huge ugly cuts in his wrists. His pocketknife lay disregarded and bloody next to his bed. 

          Though the cuts disgusted him, he went into the bathroom and cleaned them up, perplexed. What in the world had happened last night? Did someone do this to him? If not, what else could have caused it? He certainly didn't do it to himself, he knew that much. That was disgusting and only seriously depressed, weak, stupid people did dumb shit like that, and he was none of the above, after all.

          He was perfect.

          He decided on a long sleeved shirt so that no one would ask him questions about the bandages until he figured out the origin of the cuts. Sure, it was nearing winter, but the winters were particularly warm in Georgia, especially this year and one normally didn't ever have to wear long sleeves.

          There was a feeling of renewed confidence in Heero's being. It would be okay. He would get through this day. Everything would go smoothly. No one would think twice about it. After all, Wufei believed him so he had some back up. 

          He drove himself to school and walked into the building, false confidence paramount in his figure. 

          Well, he was a success until lunch. 

          But it wasn't the comments that he got at lunch that bothered him. No, he handled all those well enough, without too much pain.

          It was the fact that the table across from where Wufei and he usually sat was seriously excited about something. 

          A new kid. 

          The guy from Starbucks.

          Coincidence always annoyed Heero. 

          "Wufei," Heero spoke as he glanced at the table out of the corner of his eye, "do you know who that new guy is?" 

          "Eh?" Wufei turned his head to look at the other table before turning it back to Heero. "Yeah, real strange name like Two or Double or something like that. Supposedly he's 'totally hot' and 'a real sweetie' and other such girly nonsense."

          "I see...." 

          Heero glanced over at him and noticed the huge braid that snaked down his back and his smooth features. 

          "He almost looks like a woman himself...."

          "I know. He's probably a cocksucker. It's disgusting," Wufei growled, stabbing his food as if he was killing all the impure souls with that motion.

          "Yeah...." Heero murmured, staring down at his own food. 

          _'I have always wondered why humans are so quick to anger. It only causes pain.'_

          Pain.

          Wufei was angry about these people's sexual orientation. This caused pain to the people who were homosexual. 

          But why did he care? Heero scolded himself. He shouldn't care about such weak, filthy, disgusting people. They were the dirt under his feet. 

          Weren't.... Weren't they?

          Calculus. 

          One of Heero's favorite classes. 

          He sat down in the almost empty room, ignored by the teacher, who usually greeted him with a smile and talked to him for a while, being as he was always early to class. 

          This hurt him a little, but he covered the pain. 

          He shouldn't be hurt by other people. 

          That was a weakness. 

          Suddenly, he heard a soft voice speak 'excuse me?'

          He turned his head to see the Starbucks worker standing in front of Mr. Henderson.

          "This is Mr. Henderson's Calculus room, correct?" 

          He smiled down at the new student and nodded his head. 

          "Yes. The only free seat is next to Heero there. Why don't you take a seat there and give me your name?" 

          Heero felt his heart speed up as the boy walked toward him and smiled at him. He didn't know why this boy made him so nervous. 

          Possibly because he was so smart. Possibly because he frightened Heero by making him think.

          Because he made him think about himself.

          And he was left wondering where that thought even came from. 

          After he was settled and the first bell rang, Heero made a point of not letting this stupid boy make him nervous and turned to him. 

          It was then he lost all his words as their eyes met. 

          'My Lord, his eyes are amazing...' he thought as he stared into the blue violet orbs that seemed to swirl with silver like two impossibly deep whirlpools of purple magic that could easily drag him down into the undertow and drown him. 

          His little giggle was what pulled Heero out of his shocked state. 

          He shook his head and tried not to let his embarrassment show on his cheeks before speaking the simplest words he could think of. 

          "You're the guy from the Starbucks." 

          He nodded his head, still giggling lightly at Heero's eyes on his figure. 

          "What's your name?" 

          "My name is Duo Maxwell," he said, his voice seeming to drift through Heero's being as he repeated the name in merely a whisper on his own lips. "And yours?"

          "I...I'm Heero Yuy," he replied, stumbling on the words a little in discomfiture. 

          "It is very nice to meet you, Heero." 

          "But we've already met." Heero mentally smacked himself after saying those stupid, foolish words. 

          Duo smiled. "You are right. So we have."

          The late bell rung and Heero turned his head away from the mesmerizing boy and to the teacher as he began class. 

          He decided that he would avoid this...'Duo' as much as possible lest he find out anymore about him.

          The dismissal bell was sounded and Heero stood, gathering up his things. 

          Duo, a little nervous, stood too and walked up to him. 

          "Do you drive, Heero?" he asked carefully, and Heero could see how uneasy he was. 

          "Yeah," he replied, trying not to look at the boy. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself again. 

          "I was wondering.... Could you maybe give me a ride home please? I do not know my bus number and my car is not here yet...."

          "Your car isn't here yet?" 

          "From where I lived in California. The people who were transporting it for me got delayed."

          Heero suddenly forgot all about his decision and looked over at the pretty-boy.

          "California?" 

          He nodded his head, seeming even more nervous now that Heero was looking directly at him. 

          "I lived there before I came here."

          "Where in California?" 

          "You probably have not heard of it. It was a small, nothing town. Greenville. I have never even been to Los Angles."

          "Oh well, um, y-yeah. Sure, I'll give you a ride," Heero agreed, mentally smacking himself and wondering how in the hell he was forming the words. 

          "Are you sure it would not be too much trouble? I would just hate to cause trouble for you, or anyone."

          "No, no," Heero waved it off. "Follow me." 

          They walked out of the school building together. 

          He threw his book bag in the back and unlocked the doors so that Duo could climb in. 

          "Where are you living?" 

          "Chimney Springs," he spoke easily, looking up at Heero while he climbed into the driver's seat. Still he was nervous. 

          "Don't worry. I'm a good driver."

          "I am not worried about your driving ability."

          "You sure? You seem kind of jumpy."

          Duo nodded his head. 

          "Yes."

          Heero opened the sunroof and rolled down the windows of his car, switching on the radio to 99x. 

          He pulled out and began to wait in the ridiculously long line of cars to pull out of the high school. It was always outrageous, but he was becoming used to it by his senior year. 

          "Why did you move here, anyway?" Heero asked, trying to think of some sort of conversation. 

          Duo shrugged. "The metropolitan area seemed appealing. Little town California can become restless." 

          "So you moved across the country?" 

          "Why not?" 

          "You don't mind leaving all your friends? I think I'd be pretty pissed off at my parents if they decided to move in senior year."

          "My parents?"

          "Yeah, your parents," Heero replied, confused as to why he asked that question. 

          "There is no reason to be upset with them. They have decided that, then that is what I will decide. I cannot do anything about it. I will save my anger for when there is a need for it."

          "That's right, you don't get angry." 

          "Not very often," Duo replied honestly, staring out the window, that particular comment bringing a halt to the conversation. 

          So Heero concentrated on the road. 

          Suddenly he realized that Duo was singing along with the radio. And he was doing a damn good job of it too.

          "You can sing?" 

          Duo was jerked out of his thoughts and turned to Heero. 

          "I do not know. Can I?" 

          "Sounded like it to me."

          "Ah. Is there anything special about this ability?" 

          Heero blinked at him, once more confused by his questions. 

          "Well, I suppose everyone can sing, but you can sing in tune."

          "In tune...." Duo repeated softly, then blushed a little. "Thank you."

          Heero shrugged. "It's the truth."

          Duo smiled, looking over at him again. "See, you can be analytical too."

          Heero smirked.

          "Just maybe not so much when it refers to your emotions." 

          His smirk twisted back to a thin line. 

          "Some people believe in following their emotions."

          "I did not say you should not. It is only when it becomes painful should people not follow their emotions. Love, happiness, sorrow are emotions that should be lived by. Anger and hate are not. Anger causes suffering and if you live by anger, you hurt yourself and the people around you. I did not say that you could not live by your emotions, Heero, I said that you are uncomfortable with your emotions. You know, Heero, there are the people who know that they should follow their emotions, but they do not do so."

          "Are you saying that I am one of those people? What if my only emotion is anger?" 

          Duo smiled innocently at him. "I have yet to figure out just what all of your problems are."

          "Thanks," Heero bit, "at least now I know I'm your psychological experiment."

          "You are not an experiment. I just find people's emotions and motivations highly interesting. Especially someone who thinks," Duo added near the end, almost in a teasing tone.

          "Do I turn right or left?" Heero asked to change the conversation after he had pulled into the subdivision. 

          "Left," Duo replied. "My house number is 2729."

          A little way down the road he pulled into his driveway. 

          "What did you mean, 'someone who thinks'?" Heero asked.

          Duo thanked him as he got out but stopped momentarily before he was completely out of the car and without turning to look at Heero spoke, "in case you have not noticed, very few people actually think anymore. I would like very much to find someone who does. People here, they just make noise. They do not talk, there is no meaning behind their words, they just exercise their vocal chords, nothing more. You, Heero, I can hear it behind the noise that you mean. You want to think. I am just afraid you are scared that it will hurt you." 

          With that, he walked up to his door and shut it firmly behind him, leaving Heero slightly angered. 

          Of course he thought! Just what was this little bastard trying to say anyway?

          "He's strange, Wufei," Heero expressed at lunch the next day. "He came from some small town in California and he's just...weird. First of all, have you ever heard him use a contraction? He never uses them. It's weird. And just some of the questions he asks are...weird. Strange. Questions normal people just don't ask. And some of the things he says are just wild. Like he told me that I was afraid to think and that he thought I wanted to or something."

          "Why did you even bother to take him home in the first place?" Wufei asked, still confused about that simple subject.

          "I felt bad for him because he would have to walk. After football conditioning and rowing, I'd be damned to let anyone suffer."

          "I would have let him find his own way home," Wufei muttered, following with something that sounded like 'the freak'. 

          Lunch was quiet for a few minutes before Wufei finally burst out with "and just what do all those girls see in him anyway?"

          Heero looked up at his friend to see how terribly vexed he was and was surprised that it would annoy and frustrate him so. 

          "I mean Jesus Christ! They're only drooling on him and hanging all over him! I'm surprised that he can even ignore the ogling anymore! Not to mention he started to hang out with that queer Quatre. I wouldn't be surprised if that was a friendship with benefits," he spat, his face twisting in disgust with his own words.

          "Don't worry about it, Wufei. He's just fresh meat to them. That's all," Heero tried to comfort his friend, not being the kind that was able to do so very well.

          "Fresh meat," Wufei growled. "He's fresh meat to me, too. I beat I could beat the shit out of him."

          Heero observed Wufei's lean figure. Wufei probably couldn't beat the shit out of very many people. He was an excellent fencer, but brute strength just wasn't his forte. However, he looked like he could probably beat the shit out of Duo. 

          Yet Heero had to wonder if there wasn't more to this Duo than would meet the eye....

          As the bell rung, Heero noticed Duo blush and turned to look at him. 

          "Heero, if it would not be too large of an inconvenience...."

          "You want me to drive you home again?" 

          Duo nodded his head slightly.

          "I don't know. Last time you told me I didn't think."

          "That is not what I said. I said that I thought you were afraid to think."

          "And there's just so much of a difference." 

          "Well, yes."

          Heero sighed. "What will you do if I don't give you a ride?" 

          "If it would be too much of an inconvenience, I will walk. Walking is not a terrible thing; I have become accustomed to it since my time on Earth. Besides, I do it every morning." 

          Heero gave in and growled, "It's fine. Come with me." Then noticed that Duo studied his features intently. 

          "Are you sure it is alright? I do not want to be a problem for you. I would very much rather walk if it would be too much of an ordeal to drive me."

          "No, Duo, it's fine. You live only a mile away from my house. My house is in the subdivision right behind yours. It'll be okay until you get your car." 

          Duo's face broke into a huge smile.

          "Thank you, Heero."

          "I might as well start picking you up too."

          "Why?" 

          "Well, if I'm going to be your personal chauffeur, I might as well drag you everywhere."

          Duo followed his footsteps meekly into the parking lot. 

          "You do not have to do this, Heero, if you do not want to...."

          "Look, I don't know what the hell I want so you might as well just agree before you are forced to walk everywhere," Heero broke suddenly as he unlocked the doors and climbed in, slamming the car door hard and glaring out the windshield. 

          Duo climbed in, apparently slightly frightened of him. 

          "I am sorry...."

          Heero sighed and shook his head, trying to calm his anger and find out where that outburst came from. He hated losing control of his mouth and his body and that right then was a crack in his code of perfection. He did not like this crack. 

          "It doesn't matter. I don't even know what I was saying."

          Duo fortunately didn't press the matter with any smart remarks as Heero started the car. 

          About halfway through the ride, Heero rolled up his sleeves to accommodate for the warmth the day brought on. 

          "What happened?" Duo suddenly asked, lifting Heero's hand and inspecting his wrist, letting his fingertips trail around the cuts left from the previous night. 

          Heero quickly yanked his arm away from Duo's paws and back to the steering wheel. 

          "I fell out of a tree," Heero bit, dripping sarcasm.

          Duo paused, confused. "You fell out of a tree?" 

          "Duo, that's called sarcasm. I don't know what the fuck happened." Heero shook his head and muttered under his breath about stupid pretty-boys and getting himself mixed up with the idiots. 

          And that was when Heero saw Duo's feathers the most ruffled. 

          "I am *not* stupid, Heero Yuy," he spoke up, anger obvious in the undertones of his voice. "I might be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. I may be a little ignorant, naïve, even, but stupid I am not. People who have no understanding of differences are stupid. People who have no patience for the naïve are stupid. People who cut themselves in the middle of the night are stupid. I am not stupid," he glared. 

          Heero was taken aback by this. 

          "Are you suggesting that I did this to myself?" he asked, appalled by such a suggestion. 

          "Well, how else to do you suppose it came about? I do not believe you fell out of a tree, Heero, and neither do you. Just because you cannot admit something to yourself does not mean it is not there. Just because you cannot see something does not mean that it is not happening! The world does not revolve around your eyes, Heero Yuy, or your idea of right and wrong. People mess up Heero, you and I and everyone else mess up occasionally. If you can not admit that to yourself, then you are a lot worse off than I thought you were."

          "Well thanks," Heero spat back, upset more than angry.

          "Why are you upset with me? Because I told you that you are fallible? Did I offend you by saying that the world does not revolve around you? Was it the fact that I told you that you were more messed up than I first thought you were?"

          Heero's hands began to tremble on the steering wheel. 

          Did he really do it to himself? Why was Duo asking so many questions! Just let him think.... He had to think.... But he couldn't mess up! No! There was no way! There just wasn't! He had to be perfect or else he would be unworthy and he didn't want to be unworthy! He didn't want to be unworthy at all! And now...if he really cut himself up.... Why didn't he remember it? At least if he could remember it he could accept it! But he couldn't even remember doing it to himself!

          What if what Duo was saying was right? What if he...what if he did fuck up? What if he couldn't control the immediate situation around him...? How would he ever find acceptance from anyone...? He...he wanted to be accepted....

          Why in the hell couldn't he remember?! 

          It was then he felt tears trickle down his cheeks. 

          _It was no wonder no one was interested in such a dumbass as him. Sure, he'd been accepted into Harvard, but who gave a damn? He was just a number, he wasn't a person. Why should he be allowed to be a person? He would only fuck the world up further, after all, with his stupid mistakes. _

          _Where is this blood coming from? Probably another stupid act he committed. He probably hurt himself, the dumb fuck. All he deserved was to be hurt, but no no...._

          "Look what you did," he whispered, his cheeks now damp with quiet tears. "You're so fucking stupid, you hurt yourself." His voice was merely a gentle whisper as he repeated the words, wiping at his face with one hand and expecting to see blood there instead of just the clear wetness of salty tears.

          And for some damn reason Duo was smirking. What in the hell did the boy have to smirk about?

          "So, Heero, what is it like to think?" 

          "It's terrible.... I did this to myself.... And it hurt so much...."

          He pulled into Duo's driveway, no more words exchanged between them, no movements, nothing. 

          Heero was still in too much shock. 

          He drove himself home, miraculously getting there in one piece, walked past his parents and into his room and curled up on his bed and let himself cry. 

End Part One


	2. Part Two

Begin Part Two (revised) 

Wednesday. Two days of the week gone, two more to go.

But aren't Wednesdays always hell?

"I want nothing to do with that freak," Heero growled to Wufei at lunch. 

"What did he do?" Wufei asked curiously. 

"He accused me of doing this to myself!" Heero cried angrily, shoving his scarred wrists into Wufei's face. 

He knew damn well he did it to himself, but he wanted to make sure that no one else would know. 

He also wanted as much sympathy as he could milk out of people. This, though, was subconscious. He was beating himself up about what Duo had said. He needed everyone's approval and when Duo said that he messed up.... It truly frightened him. 

"Well--"

"Heero, I was late today." It was spoken in that soft voice which was quickly becoming a thing of his nightmares. 

Heero turned his head to meet Duo's hurt eyes. 

"Am I supposed to care?" Heero spat. 

Duo flinched back and Heero realized how good it made him feel to see Duo hurting for a change. 

"I told you that you did not have to pick me up. I could have walked. Why did you tell me you would pick me up if you had no intention of doing so?"

"I don't want to have anything to do with you," Heero spoke without any plans of answering Duo's question. 

Duo's brows furrowed a little. "Was thinking that bad, Heero?" 

With that, he turned on his heels to where Trowa was sitting. 

Wufei burst into outrageous laughter. 

"You're great, Heero! You told him you would drive him to school?" 

"Yeah...." Heero murmured, suddenly upset by his actions. "I did...."

Math was not particularly fun. 

Being as it was nearing the end of the semester, Mr. Henderson decided that they needed a huge review before the EOC and finals.

Thus he decided to give them a fifty-page packet on problems and give them partners to work on it together over the next week and have it due next Wednesday. 

Being the lazy person that he was, he decided just to pair everyone with the person sitting next to them in every two rows of seats. 

When Heero heard this, he about fainted at the realization that for the next week he would be working out math problems with Duo Maxwell. 

Duo smirked at him. "Is it not amazing how fate has a way of making two people have something to do with each other?" 

Heero growled and stared at the white board. 

"I don't believe in fate."

"I guess you're expecting me to drive you home?" Heero asked as they stood after class. 

"No," Duo replied, "I figured that since you would have nothing to do with me, I would ask some one else. Quatre will be giving me a ride home today."

Heero growled, feeling somehow wronged that this was taken away from him and not really understanding why. 

"What day do you want to meet to work on this shit?" 

"How about a hundred problems Saturday, then a hundred Sunday?"

"Sounds fine," Heero agreed stonily. 

"Do you want to meet at your house first?" 

"Whatever."

"What is your address?" 

Heero pulled a piece of paper out of his book bag, grabbed a pencil, and drew him a little map to show him how to get there by foot. 

"Thank you. What time?" 

"Twelve thirty."

With that, Heero stormed out of the classroom and down the halls to his car. 

Thursday Heero vented on Wufei and avoided Duo as much as possible. 

Friday wasn't much better when he saw Duo in the parking lot with his dream car. A hot yellow Mustang convertible. Well, he didn't like the yellow, but if it were black, then it would have been his dream car. 

He'd always wanted a Mustang. That's what he saved up for. But when he went out to by one, his parents basically said 'no' to such a fun looking car and made him buy a simpler, 'more practical' Honda. 

Now that Duo had something he wanted, Heero was not only angry and hurt, but jealous. 

And Duo also had friends. 

Sure, Heero didn't want to hang out with the pansy Quatre or the nobody Trowa, but Duo was laughing and he seemed as though he enjoyed being with these people and though Heero had many popular friends, he enjoyed being around very few of them. 

He wasn't looking forward to Saturday. 

Heero answered the door to see Duo standing there nervously. 

"H-hello, Heero...."

"Come in," Heero sighed and he followed him up the stairs and into his room. 

"Sit down anywhere you like. We should try to do these alone and only ask for help when needed so we can pass the test."

Duo nodded. "Sounds good to me." 

And thus, after pulling out paper and pencils, they began into total silence. 

Heero did question a lot of his problems, but Duo didn't seem to have any trouble and he most certainly did not want to be the first to show any sign of weakness. 

One hour later and hitting problem fifty, Duo looked over at Heero, who was pensively studying the papers in his lap. 

"Does this seem particularly dull to you?" he asked carefully. 

Heero lifted his head to look at Duo. 

"What number are you on?" 

"Does it matter? Do you feel this is a competition?" 

Heero paused. He did, didn't he? He did think this was competition. Why did he feel this way? Duo obviously didn't. Why didn't he feel the same? Why was everything a competition and pain with Duo, who seemed so kind and carefree?

"No, I was just curious. I'm on forty one." Heero stood then and pulled out a CD from his extensive collection, setting it near the boom box. "Do you want a Coke or something? I'm going to get one. This *is* boring."

Duo finally smiled, looking more at ease now that Heero wasn't dictating his actions as he was before. 

"Sure. Thank you." 

With that, Heero disappeared down the stairs. 

As he did so, he began to realize how unfairly he had been treating Duo. It was disgusting. Duo didn't spread rumors about him or try to hurt him in anyway. All he did was speak his mind and tell the truth and try to help. 

If anything, Heero realized he should be more like Duo, rather than trying to oppose him and hurt him. 

Feeling bad about himself for letting his jealousy control him, he returned with two cans of Coke and a bag of chips. 

He threw Duo both a can and the bag of chips, which Duo didn't seem to be expecting and caught it hastily with a little giggle. 

Heero set his own Coke down and put in 'Magazine' by Jump Little Children. 

"I had no idea that you played violin," Duo spoke up hesitantly. Heero consciously noticed his nervousness this time and realized that he was afraid of him. Why should anyone be afraid of him? Was everyone afraid of him and he just wasn't able to see it?

"No one expects it when I tell them," he spoke quietly, still berating himself for making people feel this way as he settled down on the bed once more. 

"I play cello...."

"Really?" Heero asked, genuinely interested. Classical music had always been one of his passions, however according to his father he was a man and he should like things that represented masculine themes like football. That was the only real reason Heero joined. His father was the star of the football team when he was younger and Heero knew that he wanted him to follow in his footsteps, so he became the quarterback on his school team, against all of his wishes and dreams and tried to push violin as much to the side as he could, although it was so hard when he wanted to spend so much of his time working on it. He tried not to tell people because he knew that it was a shameful part of himself. 

At least now he knew someone who could share in the shame, even if he was probably a queer. He didn't look down on him for this and that was what mattered right then. 

Duo nodded. "I find the human hand such a fascinating thing. Art and music are amazing to me. Most people rely solely on the spoken word to get their feelings and emotions across, but sometimes there are some emotions that are impossible to express with only the spoken word. Music and art is another medium for that. I just...I feel I can express so much more of myself by using my hands to create another dimension to do so." 

Duo was blushing profoundly after his speech and Heero just blinked at him. 

"I'd never thought of it that way before, but I'm forced to agree."

Duo's head snapped over to look at Heero, his eyes finding the Prussian blue depths of the other's.

Now it was Heero's turn to gain a little color in his cheeks. 

"I'm afraid that I can't even use the English language as well as you do to express what I mean."

Duo shook his head, long braid wafting back and forth at his ass. "No, that just shows that you are not such a lame person as me. I have spent way too much of my time studying the English language."

'That must be why he doesn't use contractions....' Heero thought to himself. It was just one of those jarringly obvious things in his speech. 

"You must be into Shakespeare and all of them, huh?" 

A lazy smile drawled across Duo's face as he settled once more into the chair he was working problems in. "Yeah, you could say that." 

"I actually like a lot of Shakespeare's work. Romeo and Juliet could be better, along with some of the others, but you kind of have to cut him a break. I mean, damn, some of his plays were nothing short of inhuman, not to mention he was working a lot of plays at one time in that part of his life."

Duo nodded his head vigorously. "Definitely, definitely. 'Hamlet' is just amazing, along with all the King Henrys and 'The Tempest' and 'The Twelfth Night'.... I could go on and on. Believe it or not, I absolutely adored 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'." 

"Really?" Heero asked, surprised. "I did too...." 

"I do not really care if some people brush it off as nothing spectacular, I appreciated the humor."

Heero snorted a laugh. "You've read 'Much Ado About Nothing', right?" 

"Of course!" Duo giggled. "I love it! Shakespeare was just amazing.... His metaphors and comebacks are hilarious. I think, besides 'The Tempest' and 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', 'Much Ado About Nothing' is definitely up there with my favorites."

"Have you seen the movie they made?" 

"No, I didn't." 

"It's a shame.... You should rent it. It's really fantastic. I was impressed." 

"I just might have to do that...."

A silence descended between the two boys and he realized that they had carried on a very nice, comfortable conversation with each other and there were no insults or pain as a result. 

Heero wondered why he was ever upset with Duo in the first place. He never intentionally wanted to hurt him; he was just a little more psychological than your everyday average idiot. He never meant any offense, Heero was sure of it; he just wanted to point out the psychology behind his emotions so as to better understand himself. It was something Heero wasn't used to, so he was offended and hurt. However now that he realized these things.... He would like a friend who was smarter than your everyday average idiot. 

"Um, Duo...."

"Yeah?" 

"What problem are you on?" 

"Fifty, why?" Duo replied hesitantly. 

"I was.... Maybe you could help me...?"

Heero saw a light in Duo's eyes, almost as if he was smiling at him from the inside.

"You are an okay guy, Heero, you are okay...."

"Who was that guy who came over, Heero?" his mother asked that night at dinner.

"Huh? Duo Maxwell?" Heero asked. 

"I guess."

"We were working on math. Mr. Henderson assigned us as partners. I have to go over to his house tomorrow to finish it up." 

Both parents were silent a moment while they shared a look and then both turned to him and when his father opened his mouth, he knew he was in deep shit. 

"We don't approve of that boy. He has hair to his butt. He has to be a fag." 

Heero didn't know why, but he flinched at the word. 

"We just don't want you to have any negative influences," his mother spoke gently, in a caring voice.

Heero snorted. "If you think Duo is a negative influence than you obviously don't know teenagers."

Both of his parent's eyebrows rose about a half a foot at his talking back.

"I don't know his sexuality, nor do I really care. The guy is like a genius in math and literature, not to mention more psychologically advanced than anyone I know. If you even gave him half a chance he's exactly the kind of guy you would approve of."

There was a long pause between the three of them.

"No, Heero, we don't approve of him," his father repeated. 

"Well you can't tell me who I hang out with! I'll see him everyday at school anyway! If I want to hang out with him, I will," Heero growled, setting down his fork and standing before leaving the table angrily. 

What right did they have to tell him whom he could and could not talk to? It made him even angrier that they would do this. All it really did was fuel his desire to get to know Duo even better. 

When really, it didn't need to be fueled much more at all.

Heero found himself ringing Duo's doorbell noon of that Sunday. It was immediately answered by Duo's shy yet cheery face. 

"Hello Heero. Come in?"

Heero replied with a similar hello and entered, following Duo down the stairs and into his room, which happened to be quite plain and bare. 

"I am sorry my room is not so interesting as yours, Heero."

"Well, you just moved. You have to recollect your stuff, right? You shouldn't be sorry for that."

Duo smiled. "You are right, I should not be, but it is a slight embarrassment."

Heero sat down next to the bed, which happened to be a futon. It was close to the ground and had a similarly small glass table next to it with an incense burner and a purple and orange lava lamp sitting on it. His sheets were leopard print and Heero found this particular fact highly amusing and slightly retro. 

They got down to working a lot more enjoyably this time. Duo possessed very few CDs, but put Stereotype A's 'Cibo Matto' into his small boom box. They talked and held steady conversations all the way through, laughing together, even. 

But as it slowly came to a close, the question drew heavier and heavier on Heero's mind. 

_ "We don't approve of that boy. He has hair to his butt. He has to be a fag."_

_ "We just don't want you to have any negative influences."_

"Something is bothering you," Duo spoke as they finished the last problem, confident that they would pass the EOC and finals. 

"Yeah...."

"Would you mind speaking of it? If not, I will not lose sleep over it or anything," Duo replied, smiling. 

"Um, well, can I ask you kind of a personal question, Duo?" Heero asked, his whole body tense and nervous. 

"Yeah, go ahead. If I do not wish to answer it, I will not answer it."

Heero took a deep breath and a long pause before exhaling slowly and asking what was on his mind. 

"Duo, are...are you a homosexual?" 

There was a silence so thick in the room that you would have had to cut it with a steak knife.

"Why do you ask such questions?" 

Heero immediately realized that he should have just kept his fucking mouth shut and that now Duo would want to have absolutely nothing to do with him. 

So he stared at the wall and tried quickly to get out his reasoning. 

"My parents said last night that they didn't approve of you because they said you were a negative influence because you had hair to your ass and you were probably gay and they said they didn't want me to talk to you." 

Once more there was silence as Duo contemplated his words and finally spoke.

"It is hard for me to say precisely what I am. I do love women as much as I do men, however I am not attracted to them in the same manner. I do not feel that this is anything that should be disgraced because I feel that my love would be the same as any woman's love for a man. I feel that all love is powerful no matter who is giving and who is receiving. It is the same, it just happens to be that the body parts are the same also. I would be the same person I was whether I felt attracted to women, or attracted to men. If this will cause some unrest between us, then I am greatly sorry for being the source of this disturbance, but I cannot change who I am. If I am a bad influence and you can not talk to me anymore, I am sorry for this problem and I will attempt to make myself scarce if it will be of benefit to you."

For the first time in his life, Heero was actually wondering why in the hell people put labels on other people. Why did people always claim that fags were mean, that they were girly, that they would hit on everyone, that they would touch you, that they were nasty, that they were wrong in some way? Why were these words attached to people just because of the way that they loved? 

Duo wasn't mean, he was slightly feminine, but you could tell that he was muscular and masculine in his own ways, he never attempted to hit on or touch Heero in any way, shape, or form, he wasn't nasty, and though he was a little off-balance and slightly geeky, in a sense, he wasn't wrong and he was most certainly the smartest, wisest, most caring person that he knew. 

Why didn't his parents want him to talk to Duo? It seemed completely ridiculous. Duo had done nothing wrong, Duo was just like any of his other friends except he actually had emotions and cared about other people and thought. In Heero's own mind, those seemed to be more positive things than negative, so why would anyone try to drag Duo down? Were they afraid to think?

And if they were, could he really blame them? Wasn't he just as bad as them? Wasn't he still learning?

Lord, he wanted to learn. He wanted to learn so badly. He wanted to be smart like Duo. Slow to anger and quick to think and love. He was so tired of being so angry at everything. He wanted to see the brighter side of the world. He wanted to look through Duo's eyes for once and see what he must see. 

Like hell he was going to stop talking to Duo because he happened to have a preference for men over women!

"No," Heero whispered softly at first, then turned to look at Duo and repeated the word once more, firmly. "No. I don't want to stop talking to you because of something stupid like that. You're my friend now and you're going to continue to be my friend."

Duo blinked and looked at him. 

"Are you sure? If it will be an incon--"

"I'm really beginning to wonder why people automatically label everything. You're no different than anyone else even if you happen to like men and the whole idea is kinda strange, but that doesn't make you less than anyone, does it?"

"I suppose, Heero. There are two parts to thinking. Part one is to question everything that is said and known to be 'true', and part two is to think of the reasons as to why this is said and known to be 'true'. You are progressing well through part one, but you have to begin to concentrate on part two.

"However I will help you in this case. People label things so that they can be a part of something. It is in the human nature to want to be a part of a group, any group. In order to be part of a group, there has to be another group. If you are of one group, then you are able to say why you are better than the other group and thus you have achieved self-pride. People want to feel special, especially in adolescence. They want to be able to be above some one else. All of their young life they have been commanded by their parents, now that they have a little bit of freedom, they want to control something. So they in turn create these social groups and boundaries, this way they have a way of not only being able to control, but also being able to belong. People wish to belong because people do not wish to be alone. Social groups are also a way of belonging. 

"Of course, there are always exceptions to these 'rules'. But one thing you must remember is that there is always an exception to everything."

Heero thought about what he said and nodded. 

"You're right.... How do you know so much, Duo? You're only what, seventeen? Eighteen? How can you possibly know so much?" 

Duo sighed. "There are ways that people would not even believe of becoming knowledgeable about things. As I said when I first met you, people tell me I think too much." 

Heero laughed. "Maybe, but I don't care. You're the fucking smartest guy I know."

Duo blushed slightly. "Maybe, Heero, but do not berate yourself too much. Maybe you do not have it all figured out yet, but who does? I do not believe for an instant that I have it all figured out. Heero, you are smart yourself, really, you are smart, because you want to try to think. I have faith in you."

End Part Two


	3. Part Three

Begin Part Three

          "So, how was your weekend?" Wufei asked, snickering. 

          "Surprisingly good," Heero replied smugly. 

          "How? Did Duo get sick or something?" 

          Heero shook his head. "No, we still met. He's a little offbeat, but he's pretty cool. We hung out." 

          "What?!" Wufei cried in outrage. "After complaining about him so bitterly?" 

          Heero blushed slightly. "Well, yeah...." 

          "That was immature of you to have me endure your complaints and now you are hanging out with him." 

          "I know...but he's so smart I guess I was intimidated by him," Heero explained as Wufei rolled his eyes.

          "He's probably a fag. Are you out of your mind, Heero? Not only is he probably a total dumbass, but he'll probably rape you." 

          Heero tried not to wince or punch Wufei hard in the mouth.

          "He hasn't even attempted to touch me!" Heero seethed. "Why are you so damn narrow-minded?"

          "So he *is* a fag?" 

          "And a better person than you!"

          Wufei snorted. "Like hell." 

          Heero stood. "I don't want to be around you Chinese trash anymore," he announced, turning up his nose and trying to ignore the angry fire that lit in Wufei's eyes.

          "You're half oriental yourself, you half-breed bastard!" Wufei shouted at him as he stormed away from his usual table and up to Duo's. 

          "Can I sit here?" he asked. 

          Duo looked up at him and noticed immediately how angry he was. 

          "Okay," he agreed easy as Heero pulled out an empty chair and sat down. 

          Heero realized that everyone was shocked by his sudden change of heart, seeing as most people considered him a 'jock'. 

          Duo tried to keep their previous conversation going, but now everyone's interest was redirected to Heero. 

          "How do you know Heero?" Hilde asked Duo as Heero sat there, still trying to calm himself. 

          "I sit next to him in calculus. We had to work on this two-hundred problem packet together last weekend," Duo explained. 

          Hilde nodded as Heero spoke, still glaring at the table. 

          "I hate how he thinks he knows everything and he's so fucking close-minded." 

          The little group looked at Heero as though he had just grown another eye and turned green. 

          "And what do you think you are, Heero?" Hilde spat. 

          "Hey," Duo spoke, not wishing to have a fight between them. 

          "What do you mean?" Heero asked, looking up to meet her eyes.

          "You and your fucking posse is always in our faces about every damn thing!" Hilde cried in exasperation. "You seem to feel the need to stick the label 'freak' on all of us just because we don't like Polo and Ralph Lauren and Abercrombie the Bitch. I hate to tell you, buddy, without the label, everything Campbell's is just soup."

          "I'm sorry I didn't realize it earlier, but I have now," Heero replied. "Maybe you should try not to put your own label on me because I'm not everything you stereotype me as." 

          "Just most of it," Hilde bit back. 

          "Less than you might think." 

          "Explain." 

          Since neither seemed angry anymore, Duo decided that it might be fun to see what would come of this debate. 

          "You think I wear what I do to show off status or cash, right? I never felt that way. I just believe in looking nice. It's also a respect thing. I want people to respect me, that's all.

          "I'm a football player only because my parents want me to be. I'm much more musically inclined. Most of the football players I talk to because it's required and they talk. Maybe they only talk about fucking chics and how much they can bench, but they talk to me and that's more than I can say for most people.

          "I've never beaten anyone up. I've watched and occasionally encouraged it, but I just wanted a few friends. I don't think that's too much to ask." 

          There was a long pause before Cathy spoke up. 

          "So what changed your mind?" 

          "Huh?" Heero asked. 

          "Why all of a sudden did you come and try to be all friendly with us when you could go hang with your jock friends?" Hilde translated. 

          "Didn't you just hear me? I don't agree with their ways. I want a few smarter companions. I want to meet new people. Besides, I want to get to know Duo a little better...." 

          Hilde whistled a little with a wide ass smile across her face as both Heero and Duo began to blush. 

          "That's not at all what I meant!" Heero cried, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment as Hilde and Cathy and even Trowa laughed. 

          "So, Heero," Hilde asked, leaning over the table with her chin resting on her hands, "do you think Duo's sexy, eh? Be careful what you say, we're big fans of him here...."

          "I-I--" Heero stuttered. "It's not that he's not sexy," he tried, unable to figure out what to say. Duo was very pretty, but he was a man and dating men was something that he could not do. It was okay for others, but not him. He was supposed to be perfect. "I just don't think I like men like that." 

          "Oh, well you're no fun," Hilde scoffed. "All you football players are always smacking each other's asses anyway...."

          But Hilde's questions were more unsettling than she knew. 

          The next day at lunch no one thought twice about Heero joining them. 

          But poor Heero was slowly being driven out of his mind. 

          Every time he looked at Duo he wondered what it would be like to kiss a man. Granted the fact he hadn't kissed many women, he just had a more intense desire to find out. 

          Then he started to wonder if Duo thought he was attractive. It may have seemed stupid, but he had to wonder. Did other men think he was hot? Why? If not, what would make him more attractive to them?

          And then he was forced to wonder why he was thinking about any of this. He wasn't gay; he shouldn't worry about it. Right?

          Heero wasn't stupid. He knew that his parents weren't having the best time. He could here them fighting through the doors. They just acted perfect when he was in view. 

          He'd taken to listening at the doorways, trying to hear what they would say. They wouldn't tell him and he felt he had a right to know if they were thinking divorce, so he would just have to find out himself. 

          But that night what he heard at the door hurt him so badly.... 

          The first indicator that it wasn't going to be pleasant was the heavy smell of marijuana at the door. He knew his father had taken in some unhealthy habits recently, marijuana and drinking being two of the worst. He always got so violent when he was drunk.... At least he didn't sound like he was drunk, thank god for that.

          "Do you think that Heero is...?" he heard his mother ask softly. 

          "I don't like to think about it."

          "He hasn't ever had a very healthy interest in women." 

          "He's my son. Like hell he's a fucking fag," his father growled.

          Heero's heart stopped unwillingly. How...?

          "I just--"

          "We raised him better than that, didn't we?" 

          "Of course.... We raised him perfectly...."

          Suddenly he heard his mother cry out slightly and his nerves tensed up. 

          What...?

          "Please, Richard," she begged softly and he could hear nothing but bed springs for a few moments. 

          Once more, louder, she begged for him to let go.

          Heero's mind was spinning. 

          What was his father doing? Was he going to rape her?! Could you rape your wife, or was she yours to do whatever you wanted with? Well, you could rape anyone! If was unwilling, it was rape, right?

          "Stop it!"

          Her voice was shrill this time and he heard a loud smack of what was unmistakably skin on skin and a woman's sob. 

          His mother was crying. 

          What was he doing to her?!

          "Please, not again," she pleaded desperately. "I'll call the cops! I swear, this time, I'll call them.... Please don't hurt me...again.... Please...."

          Slowly her voice faded into nothing but pain-wracked sobs. Heero slid to the floor, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. 

          How many times had this happened? 

          He felt like his entire world was suddenly crumbling apart as tears began to slip down his cheeks, faster and faster with each of his father's brutal moans and slaps. 

          He respected his father. He'd looked up to his father as a role model. He'd listened to him and took his opinions as the truth. He'd shaped himself after his father in as many ways possible.... How could he have proven himself so utterly wrong...?

          "Something is wrong," Duo spoke as they walked out of math class together on Friday. They now began to walk together through the parking lot every day, along with passing each other notes about the teacher during math while trying not to giggle stupidly. 

          Heero didn't know what it was about Duo that released everything inside of him that was just dying to get out. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't care about what happened to you or what you are, he just cared where you were going. He was the first person that treated him like another human being instead of fearing him or telling him that he needed to stop concentrating on computer programming and math and music if he wanted to get a football scholarship. After all, you wouldn't want all that 'great football talent' wasted, would you? 

          He just felt like there was something so much more besides football and he didn't have a way of finding it besides Duo. 

          "Nothing is wrong, Duo," he replied, trying not to bite down hard on his lips while he said it either. He didn't want to start crying...but he didn't want to lie....

          "You are obviously lying to me. What is it, Heero? Sometimes it helps to talk." 

          Heero shook his head vigorously. "No. It can't help." 

          Duo watched his facial features carefully and wrapped an arm around his shoulder as they walked through the parking lot. 

          "Look, Heero, I know you do not wish to talk about it at this moment, but if you ever need to speak to me, I will always be around to listen. Any time. Okay?" 

          Heero nodded his head a little and tried not to meet his eyes. 

          It was so shamefully to be so weak.... He shouldn't have people offering him their help. He should be able to support himself! Why couldn't he support himself? 

          "I'll be fine...." 

          Duo noticed the tense chord in his voice and he removed his arm from Heero's shoulder. 

          "Okay now.... I will see you tomorrow, no?" 

          Heero nodded. "Tomorrow."

          Heero tried to avoid home for the past two days by going to the library to study and then eating fast food for dinner, but eventually he returned home Friday night to find his mother's car missing from the driveway and the entire house smelling of beer. 

          _'Oh God, please.... I just want to get into my room and then I'll lock the door.... Just let me get into my room....' _ Heero begged silently.

          He was most certainly not looking forward to dealing with his father while he was drunk.

          "Heero."

          Hearing his name aloud contained such twisted emotions for him. There was a time when he craved nothing more than the attention of his father and would give the world to hear him speak his name, but now it rose such fear in his heart that he wished his father would do nothing short of disappearing. 

          He saw the ominous shape of his father loom in the doorway and he tried to ignore the drunken figure. Why did it all come down to this? Why were all the smiles fake and all the warmth gone chill? What had happened to his perfect family?

          "Yes?" Heero replied nervously, trying not to hug the wall too tightly and stand strong against his father's figure. 

          But then a fist came down hard on his face. 

          Heero was stunned even as he felt his back smack into the wall and his legs loose their strength. 

          His father just hit him. 

          His father just hit him, and he hit him *hard*.

          "What are you--?" Heero tried to demand, his jaw throbbing from the pain. 

          "Where were you?" his father asked violently as he shoved him harder into the wall. 

          "St-studying!" Heero stuttered out. His mind was boggled in his head. A thousand different things flashed up at once, all of them different. He shouldn't fight back, but he had to fight back, he couldn't let himself be beat up, but it was his father! Did his mother leave forever? Did he hit her? What if he couldn't go to school tomorrow? What if he *died*? What if his father killed him? What about Duo? Would they know? He was only eighteen, what about the rest of his life? Did he deserve life? What did he do wrong? Wasn't he perfect?

          His mind then stopped functioning as normal when he felt his father's fist connect with his stomach. He began to gasp madly for air as his body hit the floor in no gentle manner. 

          Now his mind was screaming a new message. 

          I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE!!

          The whole world was passing in a blur to him as he was lifted from the ground and once more shoved brutally into the wall, his father's unbelievably strong hands sure to leave bruises on his abused skin as he pinned him there. 

          "You fucker," he hissed, "you shouldn't stay out late like that." 

          "It wasn't even nine o'clock!" Heero cried in frustration, only getting another slam across the face. 

          He felt a distinct wetness on his face and it suddenly came to him, with the copper taste in his mouth, that his nose and lips were now bleeding. 

          Oh Gods, he *was* going to die! His own father was going to kill him!

          Then suddenly his father was roughly dragged away and all he could hear were sirens and everything was moving so fast.... No longer supported by his father, he fell to the ground weakly, his body shuddering violently in shock. 

          What was going on? Why were there suddenly so many people there? What were the sirens? Were they an ambulance? What was going on...? What was going on...?

          He heard shouting down the stairs and he felt hands trying to life him up. 

          'Not again! Oh God, Lord, please, don't let him hit me again!' Heero begged pitifully in his mind as he struggled against the hands that were holding him. 

          He had to get out. He had to go somewhere. He had to get away and he had to get away *now*! Now might be the only chance he had.... 

          But why were there so many people?

          No! He had to get away! He couldn't let them stop him! He didn't want to be there anymore! He didn't want to be hurt any more!

          So he just began running. 

          He dodged all the frantic hands he could and dashed back behind his house, out of sight of the glaring lights. 

          The dark.... It was so nice in the dark. No one could find him there. He was safe.... 

          He wiped the blood on his face against the back of his sleeve, but it didn't stop bleeding.

          He was overcome with the overwhelming need to cry, but he couldn't stop running yet. He was safer in the shadows, but it wasn't positive. He had to be somewhere no one would find him. 

          He didn't want to be hit again. 

          The next time he found himself he was banging on a window. Why was he doing this? He was suddenly so confused. Where...where was he?

          The blinds folded up and he found himself staring through the window down into Duo's beautiful, deep indigo eyes. 

          He immediately threw open the ground level window and beckoned for Heero to come into his room via the before mentioned entrance. 

          Heero collapsed against the wall as Duo quickly shut the window and locked it, pulling down the blinds. 

          Here he was safe. He could feel it. 

          "Heero?" Duo asked, surprise obvious in his voice as he walked out of the room and came back with a wet washcloth. "What in the world are you doing here?" Slowly he began to wipe at Heero's face, washing away the sweat and blood, noticing the ugly bruises that were slowly beginning to form on his face and trying to be as gingerly as possible with them. 

          Heero was flinching back every time Duo's hands even came near his body and Duo wondered at this. In the parking lot earlier Heero didn't even react when he threw his arm over his shoulders. Why the sudden change and how did he get hurt so badly?

          Once Heero was cleaned up and Duo had gotten him to drink a little water and calm down considerably, Heero began to think once again. 

          "Holy fuck.... My God, I'm sorry Duo, really, I...." He began to blush a brilliant shade of red as Duo giggled a little and settled down on his bed. 

          "Nah, it is okay, Heero."

          "Your parents...."

          "Are not home at this current time. They are, ah, on a cruise."

          Heero blinked. "They went on a cruise without you?" 

          Duo nodded and waved his hand nonchalantly. "It is a normal occurrence. They are rarely home now that I can fend for myself. Sit down, no?" 

          Heero sat down on the opposite side of Duo's bed and stared down at the floor. He took off his shoes carefully so as not to get Duo's carpet any dirtier than it already was from his mess. 

          Duo leaned against the wall and waited for a few minutes before speaking. 

          "You came here to talk, did you not?"

          There was a long pause between the two boys. 

          "I don't know, Duo," Heero whispered. "I just ran."

          "Well, you must have come here for a subconscious reason then. If you do not wish to talk about it, I will be slightly upset. I think that it would help you dramatically if you did."

          For the next few minutes they sat there in total silence. Duo watched Heero's profile intently. He was perfectly stoic, but suddenly his face twisted in pain. 

          "He hit me," he whispered so softly Duo barely heard it the first time. 

          Heero sniffled and blinked rapidly. 

          He didn't want to cry any more!

          "He hit me and my mom. He's a drunken bastard.... He.... He raped my mother.... Why...?" 

          Once more Heero stopped, too overwhelmed with emotions that he didn't want to show. He didn't want to show his weakness, especially not to Duo. There was something expressly wrong with that and he couldn't put his finger on just what. 

          "Heero," Duo spoke softly, letting his hands fall softly on his shoulders and Heero jumped at the touch in fear. "Heero, shh.... Lay down for a minute.... I think that it would do you some good to cry," he murmured in that soothing voice of his as he slowly pushed Heero down onto the bed, stroking his messy dark brown hair with light hands. "Shhh," he comforted, "shhh.... I will not think any less of you...."

          And that was all Heero needed to believe it.

          He curled up in a little ball on Duo's bed and just began to sob. 

          He was beyond the point of thinking, he was beyond the point of caring. His life had hit it's ultimate low and he didn't know how to handle it at all. His entire life had been perfect. He never had to worry about anything and all of a sudden he began to see everything that was hidden from his child eyes. He couldn't cope with something as drastic as that. He never learned how to. He couldn't even imagine that he would ever be able to step inside his house again.

          How did some people do this?

          And the fact that other people had been experiencing this for so much longer than he had and dealt with it perfectly made him cry even harder. He was so fucking weak if he couldn't suck it all up. He should be able to. He shouldn't be crying so pitifully like this, but then again, what in the hell did it matter? Nothing mattered anymore.... Nothing....

          "Duo...?" his voice whispered out in a croak. 

          "Yes Heero?" came the reply. He felt the warm, damp breath on his forehead and he realized that Duo had lain down next to him and had him locked in a tight embrace. 

          "Can I...can I stay here tonight?" he asked, his throat constricted with tears and pain. "I'm afraid...afraid to go...go back...."

          He felt Duo's arms tighten a little around him. 

          "Of course you can, Heero.... Of course...." he murmured back, grabbing the blankets and pulling them over both of their bodies, stroking his hair to placate the terrified, shaking boy. "I do not want you to hurt ever again...."

End Part Three


	4. Part Four

Begin Part Four

          Slowly Heero awoke in warmth, his arms wrapped around the source of his warmth. He snuggled closer into the being. It was so quiet.... He could hear his own heart beat strong and loud in his ear.... 

          Wait. His own heart beat?

          He heard a slight giggle as he opened his eyes and pushed away from the warmth. 

          He was utterly shocked to find himself in Duo's bed. 

          "Good morning," Duo greeted with a soft smile, his face glowing from the light that filtered through the blinds. 

          "Oh Lord," Heero whispered as his mind caught up with all of the events of last night. 

          "It is okay," Duo told him, still smiling. "I do not mind. Besides, I find it is better for men to show emotions, it is just American men have such a sense of 'macho'. In other countries men cry freely and hug often. They even kiss each others' cheeks." 

          Heero just sat there, so many overwhelming emotions washing through him. 

          Fear and anger and pain were dominant. He was having trouble thinking, he was terrified to the point where the only thing he could think about was how afraid he was to go home. 

          But underneath it all there was also a feeling of giddiness and he had no idea where it was coming from. 

          "Heero, how about you take a shower? It is Saturday, so there is no worry of school or my parents. I think you will feel better. I can find you some clothing and wash yours, okay?" 

          Heero nodded. What he needed right then was someone to tell him what to do. He couldn't think on his own. 

          Duo showed him to the bathroom and got him some towels before leaving to find some clothing that might fit him, seeing as Duo was thinner and slighter. 

          Suddenly the phone rang. 

          Duo found this unbelievably odd considering he gave his phone number only to Heero and Quatre. Quatre because he suggested they exchange phone numbers and Heero because he wanted to make sure that Heero had someone to talk to.

          "H-hello...?" he asked hesitantly into the receiver. He didn't really want people calling him. 

          "Hello. Is Heero there?" replied a frantic woman's voice. 

          "Who is this?" Duo returned angrily. Who wanted Heero? The poor guy was in so much emotional turmoil.... He couldn't let anyone touch him!

          "His mother! He disappeared last night and I can't find him! I found your phone number on his desk! Please, tell me he's there!"

          Duo paused momentarily before answering. 

          "He is safe with me." 

          "Oh God, thank you," she spoke, so utterly relieved that she sounded as if she might be crying.

          "However, I think that he should return of his own freewill."

          "What?" she asked, sounding now confused. 

          "He is very upset at this moment and in the shower. I will tell him that you have called, but I will not tell you where he is. I do not believe that your coming here will do him any good right now. He should be able to decide when he wants to return."

          Then Duo noticed her become indignant.

          "Are you holding him hostage? I'm his mother! I have a right to know where he is! Let me talk to him!" 

          "Lady, I do realize that you are his mother and I am not holding him hostage. He came here of his own freewill and he will leave of his own freewill. I do assume he will return with school being on Monday. I am not sure all of what happened, but I do not feel he should return anyway. He was in an extremely shaken state when he got here."

          She didn't say anything for a while besides muttering to herself. 

          "I could call the police on you!" she finally decided.

          "Do you really wish to do such a foolish thing? Do you not think that Heero would be hurt even more by that turn of events?"

          "What do you think you're doing you bastard?" she hissed. 

          "Protecting him as best I can for the moment. He is afraid to go back." 

          With his words, she hung up the phone. 

          Duo sighed and set it into the cradle, walking upstairs to make sure the door was locked before wandering back down into his room to continue his search for Heero's clothes. 

          Meanwhile Heero was leaning against corner of the shower, his arms shaking as they hugged his sob-wracked body, the water slowly turning cold against his skin.

          Slowly the door opened and Duo saw Heero standing there with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, water still running over the well defined curves of his body and he tried not to stare. He blushed slightly and managed to advert his eyes to the blankets, playing with them a little with one hand. 

          It suddenly dawned on Heero why Duo turned so shy and he couldn't help but blush himself. 

          How had he been so stupid as to forget that Duo was gay? 

          Duo thought he was attractive!

          The two thoughts fought a nice little war in his head. He didn't know why the idea that Duo found him attractive was so pleasing, he'd much rather berate himself for forgetting Duo's sexuality than have to think about why it meant so much to him for Duo to think he was attractive.

          "Um, there are some clothes that might fit you on the chair over there. You are, um, built, um...." Duo was so red it made Heero want to laugh. "You are built more muscular than me.... I guess.... Um, it was hard to find clothing that would fit your, um...stature...." Duo stuttered, finally covering his face with one hand, obviously embarrassed beyond all comprehension.

          Heero picked up the clothing and walked back into the bathroom, smiling to himself as he dressed in the sweatpants and muscle shirt Duo had pulled out for him. 

          When he walked back in, Duo had gained a lot more composure over himself, though the outfit was very risky for the situation. Muscle shirts didn't cover much and sweat pants happened to be more revealing than one might think, especially when they were slightly small. 

          Duo stood to put in a CD and Heero watched as he set it in the small boom box, pressing the play button. 

          However he never made it back to the bed. 

          Heero, compelled beyond reason and nervous as hell, had reached out and grabbed him, pulling him close to his chest and letting his head fall upon the silky shoulder as the first few chords of XTC's 'Summer's Cauldron' began.

          Slowly he breathed in the sweet, light scent of Duo, his fingers locking around the soft folds of this shirt, feeling the muscles in his back tense up with Heero's sudden and unexpected move. 

          He felt tears swimming in his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip until he tasted the blood in his mouth. 

          "Heero...." Duo murmured, lifting his fingers to his hair.

          "I don't understand what went wrong...." Heero whispered as tears wet his cheeks and began to soak Duo's neck. "I-I thought everything was perfect.... My life...was perfect.... Sure, people wanted me to do things I didn't want to, but still.... I...I.... I feel like everything is falling down. I feel like someone has shoved me into the deep end and I'm drowning. I can't breath but I can see the sun through the water and I keep trying to reach it but I'm just being dragged farther and farther down...." His strong arms tightened around Duo's thin waist, almost crushing him against his body. "I don't want to drown, Duo...I don't want to drown.... I...I need someone to help me.... I.... Help me...."

          "Hey...." Duo murmured, rubbing his back with his nimble hands. "Hey.... I refuse to let you drown, okay? I will not let you drown. I promise." 

          "Please...?"

          "I promise...."

          Heero breathed in deep and snuggled his face deeper into Duo's neck as the tears continued to fall.

          "I never want to leave.... It.... I never thought that he would hit me.... Now...now I just don't know what to think anymore.... I think someone called the police last night. I think he's not there anymore, but...but the memory will be enough.... I...what did I do? I don't understand what I did to make him so mad at me! Oh Goddamnit.... I'm still crying about this.... I shouldn't be crying anymore, I know it; I don't know why I'm so fucking weak.... I can't even swim.... I can't swim by myself!"

          "Hey, Heero, sometimes we need a life jacket before we can swim by ourselves, you know? When you were little, you wore a life jacket before you could swim, did you not? This is just like learning to swim again. You do not know what to do.

          "And you should not be ashamed of your tears," Duo comforted, stroking his hair and rocking him slightly back and forth in his arms. "What your father did was horribly wrong, there was no excuse for that, none at all, yet your feelings of confusion are perfectly acceptable. If you were not upset about this, then I would be very scared for you. You just have to remember that it was not your fault at all. There is no reason in the entire world that a father should do that. I do not care what anyone says, that is inhumane and should never have happened. It is so very unfortunate that it did. Especially to you, Heero.... You are really a magnificent person, really. You just have to keep telling yourself that because sometimes bad things happen and no one will be there to tell you the things that I am able to now. You just have to remember that there are some things that happen that should not happen which you can do absolutely nothing about. You can do nothing about this. Do you understand?"

          Heero was quiet for quite some time as he slowly calmed himself to a stable point and wiped at his eyes, nodding on Duo's shoulder. 

          "It's just so hard to believe that I some how couldn't have prevented it. I should always be in control of myself and the events pertaining to myself. I am supposed to be perfect."

          "No you are not. You are human and thus you are everything but perfect. How in this universe and the thousands beyond that could you have possibly stopped your father from doing those things to you and to your mother, I understand? How could you have stopped it? You most certainly could not have fought back and you could not have blocked his punches and you could not have just not gone home. It was an extreme existential moment. You can control nothing but your reaction."

          "And I'm doing a pretty shitty job of that," he muttered, down trodden as he pushed away from Duo and sat down on his bed, staring at the wall, ashamed. 

          Duo followed him and stretched out across the bed on his belly, looking over and up at Heero. 

          "Are you really?"

          Heero nodded, not acknowledging Duo's eyes. 

          "And could you handle it any differently? Could you stop yourself from such powerful emotions?"

          "But...."

          "But what?" 

          "It feels so wrong...."

          "Sometimes that which feels wrong is right."

          Heero rubbed his upper arm self-consciously as he thought. 

          Maybe Duo was right.... But he refused to be helpless all his life! He didn't want to be nothing more than a car driven by whoever the hell pleased! 

          Suddenly, he stood. 

          "You have any Bisquick?"

          Duo blinked by this strange question.

          "Yeah, I think."

          "How about some maple syrup?"

          Duo nodded. 

          "Good. I'm going to make you breakfast."

          Heero proved to be a quite excellent chef and Duo was quite pleased. They enjoyed breakfast, both trying to be optimistic and happy, both maybe laughing a little too loud. 

          Then they decided that they should go out and rent a ton of movies and come back and just lay around. 

          Duo had said that his mother called, but Heero was in no hurry to get home and really just kind of brushed the fact off. 

          As much time as he could spend with Duo, he wanted to. 

          He could never act the way he did around anyone else. Duo didn't care. Duo didn't care that he cried and need to be touched and cared about. He could open the gate around himself to Duo.... He thought he'd built it up so well, but somehow Duo found the key. Now that he was inside, Heero wasn't sure if he ever wanted him to leave.

          Or if he ever wanted to leave Duo.

          The rented 'Much Ado About Nothing', 'The Bird Cage', 'Caddy Shack', 'Ghost Light', 'Gattaca', 'The Crow' (the original one, of course), and 'Legally Blonde'. The cashier looked at them like they were crazy, but neither of them cared. 

          Heero admitted his slight envy over Duo's car and so Duo let him drive back home.

          They got a bunch of potato chips and sodas and lay down on the couch together.

          Both of them were shy at first, but both of them wanted to be held and so in the middle of the second movie, Duo got up the nerve to scoot closer and let his head fall on Heero's chest.

          He was beginning to grow quite fond of Heero and he couldn't figure out why.... He couldn't fall in love, no, not right now, but Heero.... He was so...so strong yet adorably helpless. Heero was so much smarter than everyone else he had met so far and he actually cared about what he had to say. Although Duo had made many friends since the move, he felt that very few of them really thought about much, but Heero, on the other hand.... Heero was.... Heero was amazing. 

          Slowly Heero let his hands play in the brown-gold silken wisps of Duo's hair. He had grown rather attached to the braided boy over the past few weeks and he didn't know if he could really handle thinking about all the reasons as to why. Duo was such a pleasant escape from reality.... So caring and so carefree.... None of the small things mattered to him, but he was so smart about the things that were so large.... He let Heero be himself and in his own way, he protected him. That was something Heero never had before and he never realized how much he had wanted it. 

          Duo was soothed by the feel of his strong, rough hands on his face and in his hair. He wasn't used to the tenderness that could be shown between to human beings, and he couldn't honestly say that he wasn't enjoying the contact. 

          Slowly he let his hand slide across Heero's chest until it reached his own cheek, where he grabbed hold of the thin material of the muscle shirt he wore and clutched it in his fist. 

          Heero didn't suppose that he could remember even what the movie they were watching was called. Well, he wouldn't have been able to if he had even been thinking about the movie at all. 

          His mind instead was sending outrageously loud signals through his head screaming how amazing this was while simultaneously trying to kill that thought. Duo was *right there*! In his lap! Snuggling with him! He *liked* him!

          But no no! That was so wrong! What was he doing letting this gay guy just lay all over him?! There was something terribly wrong about that. Why would he ever let any male do that to him? Was he losing his mind? 

          And why did he enjoy this physical contact so much? He shouldn't! He shouldn't enjoy it *at all*. What if Duo did try to rape him like Wufei said?

          He was *right there*! He was right there in his arms! What could be much better?

          Duo slowly let his eyes drift close. He'd stayed up late last night watching over Heero to make sure he wouldn't have any nightmares. He was so sleepy and Heero was so warm....

          Slowly Heero realized that Duo had slipped into sleep and he smiled to himself, watching his face as his body slowly relaxed and his muscles fell slack. 

          Did he really deserve to look upon such beauty?

          Duo's eyes glided open and he found himself moving up and down slowly with the rise and fall of Heero's chest. He could feel his heart beat pounding steady against his cheek and he looked up and found his eyes met with the deep cobalt depths of Heero's. 

          "Heero," he whispered, slightly surprised that Heero let him lay there so long. 

          "You fell asleep." 

          Duo nodded slightly. "How long did I sleep for?" 

          "A few hours," Heero replied easily, still stroking his hair. 

          A light blush painted Duo's cheeks in embarrassment and shame. "I am sorry.... I did not mean to fall asleep like that and all...."

          Heero shook his head a little. "No, it's okay.... Though it is nearing dinner. You hungry?"

          Duo once more nodded a little, blushing harder. 

          "Let's see what you've got, then."

          They ended up having a gourmet meal of Spaghettios and Bagel Bites. 

          For both of them the entire situation was unsettlingly odd. 

          Heero 'cooked' as Duo set the table and stood over his shoulder, making sure that everything was going okay, talking about meaningless little things like the weather. Dinner they ate quietly, but there was an unbelievable calm and perfection about the entire situation that neither of them could ignore. 

          Afterward, Duo cleaned up as Heero watched. He watched him set plates in the dishwasher, wiping the table just as a housewife might, and once more, the feelings were too pronounced to ignore.

          However, they could not be pronounced aloud.

          "You still have to see 'Much Ado About Nothing'," Heero told them as they wandered back into the living room. 

          Duo smiled at him as he sat down on the couch. 

          "Does this mean we get to watch more movies together?" Duo asked slyly, winking.

          "Yes," Heero replied. "Right now." 

          Duo giggled as Heero sat down and he flopped over into his lap, his head resting in his legs as he stared up into Heero's eyes with affection and Heero returned the stare with his own of adoration.

          Yet slowly his eyes turned sad and he looked away from Duo.

          "Heero...?" 

          "Are you just using me?" he asked so softly that Duo almost couldn't catch the words. 

          "What?" Duo asked, sitting up indignantly. "What do you mean by that?"

          "Because you're gay.... Do you just want to see if you can get me in bed?" 

          Duo was outraged and stood in anger, storming across the room before storming back, unable to release such negative emotions and not wishing to show them. 

          "Why would you ever think that? Because I happen to be an affection person? If you would prefer that I not touch you, that is perfectly okay with me," Duo growled, rolling his eyes with the words 'perfectly okay'.

          Heero could tell the upset that was obvious in his voice.

          "I'm sorry, Duo, I just.... I jump to conclusions before logic has a chance to win me over, most times.... I just thought that since you were gay maybe you were--"

          "Shut up Heero. You are going to do nothing but make me more upset."

          Heero was stunned by the tone that Duo suddenly took with him. Heero didn't believe that he had ever seen Duo so angry about something before.

          "You don't want to watch 'Much Ado' with me anymore?" Heero asked, trying not to pull a total puppy-dog look and have all respect lost for him. 

          Duo sighed, put the tape in the VCR, and sat down on the extreme opposite end of the couch while it began.        

          Every time Hiro's character came on, Duo would sneer at the television, until about half way through the movie when he felt Heero's head settle into his lap.

          Slowly a small smile lit across his face for a moment before he let his hand fall in Heero's hair and let his nimble fingers lace through the soft mass. 

          Heero was glad that Duo was not upset with him anymore. He was just being stupid and jumping to conclusions. If anything, Heero realized that he probably enjoyed the contact more than Duo and that scared him slightly. He comforted himself by saying that it wasn't his fault, he didn't have enough psychical contact as a child and so he needed more of it now. The not-such-a-lie lie soothed him incredible amounts. 

          They were both able to enjoy the rest of the movie together.

          When it was over, they made their way (with some of the soda) back down into Duo's room and lay in boxers on his bed. Heero laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling and sipping one of the sodas while Duo lay on his stomach, his chin resting on his folded arms, staring at Heero's profile.

          "It must be nice to never have your parents in your face...."

          Duo shrugged a little. "I do not really think much of it. They know that I can take care of myself and I do. Either way I could not change the facts and so I do not try."

          Heero was quiet.

          "Speaking of which, what are you going to do about your mother's call? I do not really wish to get in trouble with the police...." Duo spoke softly. 

          Heero didn't react as he tried to think of something to say.

          "I'm not sure," he said slowly. "I...I guess that I will eventually.... Tomorrow.... I have to.... I have to be stronger than this. I have to return. I will return. Tomorrow...."

          "Good. Sometimes you need to face up to your fears. Not that I would not mind if you did not decide to go home.... I am sort of lonely.... A lot."

          Heero looked over at him and saw the truth and beauty in his eyes and replied, "You know me. I'll come running back to you every time I get scared...."

          "You do not strike me as the kind to get scared often."

          "I wasn't...when I was blind."

          Duo paused. "When you were blind?" 

          "Before I cared to think about my emotions or the feelings of anyone around me. Before I realized that things could go wrong in my perfect life...."

          "You can not let scary things control your life." 

          "I'm going to try not to let them."

          Duo smiled at him. "Good. You are a promising person, I would hate to see you thrown away by fear."

          Heero set down his soda and turned on his side, letting his eyes scan over Duo's smooth back and arms back down to his well-defined calves. He was more muscular than Heero ever imagined he would be, but he wasn't buff like Heero himself. 

          His fingers itched to turn him over and feel over his abs and nipples and his other deliciously smooth looking skin and just looking at Duo's boxers made him blush as he thought about what had to be Duo's well toned ass. 

          However he knew that those thoughts were so terribly wrong and the only reason he was having them was because Duo was gay and so he had to wonder what Duo thought was so wonderful about the male body. 

          Duo yawned slightly and shivered a little. Seeing as his room was half under-ground, it became very cold at night, especially in the winter. 

          Watching this and feeling slightly chill himself, Heero motioned for Duo to crawl under the sheets with him and they did so. 

          Duo grew slightly nervous as Heero clicked off the lights. He didn't want to be accused of wishing to rape Heero any more, because he didn't. Rape was terribly inhumane, especially to someone who was going through so much heartache as Heero was at the current moment.

          It was Heero, however, the moved closer and reached out for his hand, taking hold of it and squeezing it tight between his fingers.

          "I'm just so afraid to go back," he whispered and Duo realized that he was crying.

          "It is going to be okay, Heero...." Duo spoke back, reaching his other hand over to hug his head to his chest. "Everything will work out okay...."

End Part Four


	5. Part Five

Begin Part Five

          That morning Heero awoke to find himself entangled in Duo's limbs.

          He sighed contently and moved his head back and forth slightly so that his cheek rubbed against Duo's soft braid.

          He was beautiful when he slept; there was no doubt about that.

          But that was merely an observation of a truth, nothing more than that! 

          Slowly Duo also awoke, pleased to find his sleeping arrangements as such. He smiled at Heero though sleepy, half-opened eyes.

          "G'morning," Heero greeted with his own smile.  

          "Good morning," he mumbled. 

          "You still use perfect English, huh?"

          Duo nodded slightly. 

          They had breakfast together and with Heero's approval, Duo drove him home. 

          "I...I enjoyed it," Heero spoke softly, looking at the house with a feeling for dread.

          Duo nodded. "Me too. You can come back whenever you want."

          Heero didn't give any sign that he had heard what Duo said; he couldn't tear his eyes away from the ominous building that was once his home.

          He opened the door and stepped boldly out of the car. 

          "Duo?" he asked, turning to look at him. 

          Duo continued to stare up at him. "Yes?" 

          "Thank you." 

          Duo smiled. "Of course." 

          With that, Heero crossed the gap between Duo and the door. He hesitated and Duo watched, but he turned the doorknob and walked through the threshold. 

          Duo released a breath he didn't realize he was even holding before shaking his head and pulling out of the driveway. 

          "You are falling for him, Duo.... You are falling...."

          Heero was surprised to find his mother wrap her arms around him and smoother him in words of thanks to God.

          He wasn't even sure how he should react. 

          So he just stood there. 

          When she realized his discomfort, she backed away and looked up at him. 

          "I'm so glad that you are back. I thought that you had been taken."

          "No," Heero replied coldly, "I had escaped."

          "I called the police. It would have been okay." 

          "No, mother, it wasn't okay," Heero replied angrily. "Where is he?" 

          "He's coming back Wednesday." 

          "Then I'm not coming home Wednesday."

          His mother was appalled by this declaration. 

          "What do you mean?" 

          "I don't want to be here until you divorce that jerk." 

          "Don't talk about your father like that!" 

          "My father?" Heero snorted. "He's not my father. Not the one I loved." 

          "Heero!"

          "He hits me and he rapes you. What kind of man is that?" Heero asked, tears deep in his eyes. "He's not my father." 

          "It's not his fault." 

          "It's not his fault? It's not his fault?! Then whose fault is it? It's not mine, is it? Is it yours, mother? Whose fault is it if it's not his? He should be able to control himself at all times. You taught me that. *He* taught me that. How can you teach a person something you don't believe or follow yourself?" Heero asked, leaving his mother speechless. "You make me sick." 

          With those words, Heero disappeared into his bedroom, locking the door behind him.

          Monday wasn't fun. 

          Somehow someone found out about the police taking his father away and it was brutal torture. Nothing he said, no threat he made, and nothing he did would shut them up. 

          He had a slight escape at lunch because Hilde would glare at anyone who walked up and no one messed with Hilde. It was rumored she carried a knife under her trench coat and that she went to juvenile detention for killing someone. 

          They all became quite attached to Heero and wanted to help him and felt sorry for him seeing as he obviously had no idea what to do in the situation. 

          He let his head rest on the table so no one could see him shed a few tears. The last thing he needed was for people, to harass him for crying. 

          He felt Duo's hand on his back, massaging it. 

          He needed to talk to Duo.... 

          But he couldn't do it here. No.... 

          Tuesday was just a day closer to Wednesday. People cooled down on the dysfunctional family jokes, but Heero was still upset. 

          He survived the day, however Duo was taken out of calculus early and this upset Heero. Usually they walked through the parking lot together, but Duo was away until the end of class. What did they need him for?

          Heero thus began searching for him around the school. He didn't like his schedule to be interrupted, especially where Duo was concerned. 

          Duo's car was still there, so Heero continued his search. 

          Suddenly he heard a familiar voice. 

          "Hey pretty boy," Wufei growled and heard a body hit the stonewall of the building and give a small cry. 

          _"Stop it!"_

_          "Please, not again," she pleaded desperately. "I'll call the cops! I swear, this time, I'll call them.... Please don't hurt me...again.... Please...."_

          "Hey little fag. You know what we do to fags?"

          Heero let his eyes drift over the corner and he froze. 

          Wufei was pushing Duo repeatedly into the wall while threatening to kill him because he 'liked cock'. 

          Heero realized a number of things all of a sudden. Wufei was probably gay. Wufei was probably unwilling to admit it. He probably picked Duo to beat up because not only was Duo gay, but Wufei was confident that he could wing. 

          He chose Duo because he was confident he could win. 

          "Stop it, Wufei," Heero threatened, making his presence known. 

          Wufei sneered. "He's probably sucking *your* cock," he spat, shoving Duo hard into the stone, his face already scratched up and bloody from the harassment. 

          _"Please, not again! Please don't hurt me...again.... Please...."_

          "I said stop!" Heero screamed, punching Wufei across the face. 

          He would not let Wufei treat Duo like his father treated his mother. 

          "You only choose him because you can win! Don't ever touch him again you fucking bastard!" Heero screeched, bringing his fist down into Wufei's stomach.

_          "You fucker," he hissed, "you shouldn't stay out late like that." _

_          "It wasn't even nine o'clock!" Heero cried in frustration, only getting another slam across the face. _

          _The copper taste in his mouth...his nose and lips were now bleeding. _

_          Oh Gods, he *was* going to die! His own father was going to kill him!_

_          'Not again! Oh God, Lord, please, don't let him hit me again!'_

          "He just choose me because he could win...." Heero whispered and let his right hand fall limp at his side. Wufei was cringing and trying to crawl into the wall. 

_          'Not again! Oh God, Lord, please, don't let him hit me again!'_

          Heero couldn't beat him up, so instead he threw him to the ground. 

          He was disgusted with himself. 

          How could he let himself turn into his father?

          _'Not again!'_

          He lifted Duo into his arms, brushing his bangs away from his abused face with his nose. 

          Duo's eyes shown with tears and gratitude. 

          Slowly Heero walked him back to his car and held him in his lap in the passenger seat, pulling out some Kleenex to wipe off Duo's bloody face. 

          "I'm sorry," Heero murmured, petting his bangs slowly. 

          "For what?" Duo inquired. 

          "For loosing control.... For the fact that you had to endure Wufei's shit...." 

          "No Heero, you did well. By letting him go you showed him that you could defeat him, but he was not worth your time. You see? It is more affective that way."

          "But I turned into my father...." 

          Duo looked up at him with eyes of sympathy and slowly stroked his cheek with one long, nimble hand. 

          "Yes, but do you not understand? You learned from this and now you are a stronger person because of that." 

          "I guess...." 

          "Never guess Heero, just know." 

          Heero let his arms fall away from Duo's body as he climbed out of the car. 

          "I will see you tomorrow." 

          "Wait!" 

          Duo looked at him with curiosity. "Yes?" 

          "What were you called to guidance for?" 

          Duo winced slightly, but he knew he couldn't lie. 

          "They wanted me to tell them if you were doing okay and such...." Duo spoke softly. 

          "And?" Heero asked nervously. 

          "I did not tell them a thing."

          Heero smiled at the other boy. "Thank you." 

          Duo nodded. "Of course." 

          Slowly Wednesday dwindled down to the dreaded evening. 

          Heero admitted his longing just to go home with Duo, however Duo knew the importance for Heero to stand up to his fears and though he would have enjoyed Heero's company, he urged Heero to face his demons. With Duo's encouraging words, Heero decided to stop thinking of escape and start building courage.

          He had to face his father. 

          Heero was nervous as he walked through the door. He couldn't smell and drugs, which was a good sign, however he was still cautious. 

          "Hello, Heero," came the strong, deep voice of his father, drifting from the living room.

_          "Heero." _

_          Such twisted emotions.... He craved nothing more than the attention of his father, but now there was such fear...._

_          The entire house smelled of beer...._

_          Just get to my room, lock the door...._

          "I'm home," Heero called back, rather evenly for his shaken state. 

          He then continued to walk upstairs as if it were any normal day. 

          But it wasn't a normal day. 

          The tension was obvious. 

          And it only built at dinner. 

          Very few words were exchanged. His mother tried hard to get a conversation going, but both Heero and his father worked against her. 

          He then once more retreated to his room and absorbed himself into his computer. 

          However that didn't help much. 

          He found himself writing a love letter. To Duo. 

          He was truly losing his mind....

          "Duo, um...I was wondering if maybe I could go to your house after school so you could help me with the math homework. I'm somewhat confused about it." 

          "Of course, Heero," Duo replied, smiling.

          Heero knew it was a lame excuse. A lame pathetic excuse. But Heero was beyond caring. This was beyond his fear. This was beyond his dysfunctional family. 

          He just wanted to be close to Duo.

          Hilde watched this all very carefully. 

          "Hey Heero!" the familiar voice called between classes and Heero turned around to see Hilde chasing him down the hall. 

          "Yeah?" he asked, questions in his eyes. 

          "Hey Heero, I know you got all defensive and shit when I first asked, but I was also just joking around, too." 

          "What are you talking about?" Heero asked wearily, not in the mood to play one of her little games. She had a thousand of them. 

          "You like Duo, dontcha?" 

          Heero sighed. 

          "Yes, Hilde, he is my friend."

          "No, Heero! Not like that. You *like* Duo, dontcha?"

          Heero stopped and rubbed his forehead with one of his hands, not knowing whether to lie or to cry or what to do, really. 

          "What in the hell do you think this is?" he growled, reaching into his book bag and pulling out three sheets of paper and shoving them into her face. "It's bad enough that I wrote that shit, but I printed it out, too!" 

          Hilde's eyes grew about the size of teacups as she read over the three sheets of paper that ended abruptly. 

          "I didn't know that you dug him *that* much...." Hilde spoke, blown away by the amount of affection that he had poured into the paper. "I was thinking like a little crush or something...." 

          Heero snatched the papers back angrily.

          "Me and you both." 

          "What are you gonna do about it?"

          "First of all, I am *not* going to tell him. You are *not* going to tell him. He *isn't* going to find out. Understand?" 

          Hilde nodded. "Understood. I mean, I can tell he kinda likes ya, but I'm not sure if he likes you *that* much and it might kinda creep him out, ya know?" 

          "Fuck, Hilde, it creeps *me* out...."

          "Heero...." 

          "Yeah?" he asked, still on the verge of a mental break down. 

          "You...you do know that I like him too, right?" 

          Heero paused before shaking his head in confusion. "What?" 

          "I...I love him, Heero.... I just know that he'll never love me back.... I only want the best for him, so I hope.... I hope that you can be what I never had a chance to be...."

          "Oh Lord, Hilde...." Heero whispered as the first bell rung.

          She sniffled and wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve before turning and giving him a huge, false smile. 

          "I'll see you tomorrow, Heero!" she spoke happily before skipping off. 

          Heero was left in confusion. 

          What in the hell was he going to do now?

          Heero walked into the class as the late bell rung. 

          "You are late," Duo observed. "Where were you?" 

          "Talking to Hilde," he whispered back. 

          "I had no idea you two were such good friends." 

          "We might not be anymore." 

          Duo looked at him in confusion. "What did you talk about?"

          Heero sighed. "You might know sooner than I'd like." 

          "Heero, you seem to understand these problems perfectly," Duo pointed out as they finished up their study session. 

          "I wasn't sure...." Heero replied, looking down at the carpet nervously. 

          Slowly Duo reached over and brushed a few of Heero's bangs softly away from his forehead.

          "You wanna go get some fast food?" Heero asked. "My treat for making you waste your time with me doing boring math." 

          "Sounds great!" 

          Heero smiled.

          Another glorious thirty minutes with Duo....

          Another glorious thirty minutes with Duo at the magnificent Chickfila. 

          Every minute he spent with Duo was cherished. 

          They ate their chicken and laughed....

          He was so happy around Duo. He was never so happy around any of his other friends. He was never so happy around Wufei. All he did was bitch around them. With Duo he could talk about anything and it was fun. 

          Fun. 

          He liked it. A lot. 

          "Duo?"

          "Yeah?" 

          "I want to protect you." 

          Duo looked at him in confusion. 

          "Protect me?" 

          "Yeah." 

          "From what?" 

          Heero paused. "From anything that will hurt you. You make me so happy and you've helped and protected me so much.... I just want to do the same for you...." 

          "You make me happy too, Heero," Duo replied, blushing slightly. "I enjoy your company very much, but you don't have to do anything more than what you are now." 

          "But--"

          "No, Heero, change is good, but I do not want you to change drastically. I love the way you are. Stay that way. You are a good person."

          Heero was quiet.

          He didn't feel like he was a good person. He didn't feel like he did enough for Duo. 

          But Duo wouldn't like to him. 

          If Duo said he was a good person, Duo would know, wouldn't he?

          "Are you sure?" 

          Duo nodded. "Positive."

          Heero smiled. "Okay. As long as you're sure...." 

          Heero dropped Duo off at his house too soon for his liking.

          Upon his return home he could not find his mother or father and considered this a blessing. 

          He lie down on his bed and just saw Duo. 

          It got to the point where all he could think about was Duo. 

          How funny Duo was, how smart Duo was, just how Duo might react under his gentle hands and soft lips and teeth....

          He was obsessed. 

          It frightened him a little, but at the same time, it felt so good.... 

          The only way it could be better was if he could hold Duo in his arms. 

          But that was something he could never have, so he was content with his obsession. 

          Friday...was. 

          Next week was finals so everyone was excited about Winter Break and Hilde, Cathy, Heero, and Duo decided to get into a study group for Saturday since they were taking mostly the same classes. 

          Both Hilde and Heero, however, were dreading it. 

          For the same reasons.

End Part Five


	6. Part Six

Begin Part Six

          Heero was the first to arrive at their study session. He had to be. He had to show Duo that he was his number one priority.

          Hilde and Cathy didn't arrive much later, but they did arrive together. 

          They decided to listen to the new Spock's Beard CD 'V'. 

          Then they settled into Lit. 

          The two girls weren't fond of Literature, so Heero and Duo quizzed them extensively on it, seeing as they were Lit buffs. 

          After practically memorizing the Lit book, they grabbed snacks and put in some Niki Barr, then started on Psychology, laughing about Freud's theories as if they were immature freshman. 

          Then it was on to math and Gentle Giant's 'Free Hand'. 

          Afterward they crashed and burned, ripping on teachers and lounging around Duo's room lazily. 

          "I'm so glad that I'll never have to see Mrs. Mallard *ever* again," Hilde sighed happily. "I mean, her ass is *huge* and somehow it always manages to be in *my* face!"

          They laughed, but Cathy spoke up. 

          "What about Mr. Jackson? Both years I've had him he sat me right in the front of the classroom and he spits when he talks! It's disgusting!" 

          "None of my teachers in California were all that bad...." Duo murmured, inching slightly closer to Heero. 

          "Once you fall outside of Mr. Henderson's moral boundaries, you're dead," Heero told them in aggravation. "He looks for excuses on everything to mark me down, after that whole porno ordeal which I didn't even do!" 

          "Did you ever find the culprit of that little act?" Cathy asked and Heero shook his head. 

          "Still don't know who did it, but I have suspicions," Heero replied. "I think it might have been Cynthia."

          "Cynthia?" Hilde asked in surprise. "Why her? She's so...geeky. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't know what porn was. Well, I guess *now* she does after your presentation...."

          Heero glared at her. "Well, I suspect her because she was jealous that I had a higher grade than here. She is a huge geek and she's also determined to have the highest grade in every class she's ever had. She had success until that class. Well, now she has a higher grade than me...." 

          Duo let his head fall into Heero's lap.

          "It is okay," Duo told him, lifting a hand to pet his cheek. "We believe you."

          Heero met Cathy's eyes, and it was obvious her support, but when he looked into Hilde's, he looked away. 

          Her eyes were mixed with pain and jealousy and sadness and anger. Over-whelming anger that Duo should love him more and care about him more and lay in his lap and pet his cheek and comfort him.

          Yet there was nothing Heero could do! He felt so helpless. He couldn't change the way Duo felt and even if he could, he wouldn't want to. If Duo stopped what little affection he had for him, Heero didn't quite know how he would go on. He loved Duo with everything inside of him and he had destroyed his boundaries of right and wrong to do so. 

          He wouldn't give Duo up. 

          Not for the entire world.

          And he meant it.

          Suddenly Hilde attacked Duo, tickling him, making him laugh wildly and thrash around in Heero's lap. Both Cathy and Heero were inclined to laugh at the vision of Hilde tickling the shit out of Duo, although Heero was slightly jealous that Hilde was making him laugh like that, not to mention he was becoming very turned on by the object of his affection thrashing happily in his lap.

          It took a hell of a lot of control for Heero not to lean down and lick those perfectly delicious lips curved into their happy smile that rested so easily in his lap.

          Soon, however, Hilde grew bored of her game and backed off as Duo sat up and wiped the tears out of his eyes, still giggling slightly as he attempted to smooth down his hair. 

          "What was that for?" Duo asked. 

          Hilde shrugged. "I don't like it when things get too serious."

          Duo stretched then, his shirt riding up and exposing most of his tight abs and Heero was having a very difficult time attempting to control himself. 

          Maybe, he decided, his obsession was getting a little out of control. If it was getting to the point where he was becoming turned on by just being around Duo, it was definitely getting out of hand. Sure, okay, so maybe he jerked off to images of Duo once or twice, but if guys didn't ejaculate then they'd suffer severe mental problems, right? So technically he had to do it if he didn't want to suffer in the future, but it was not a good thing for him to want sex every time Duo touched him. 

          Once more Duo settled down on his lap, his long braid somehow managing to hide the erection he was currently working up. He snuggled into the corner where the top of Heero's right leg met his torso and yawned slightly. 

          "I am a little tired from all that studying. It is not an easy thing to do," he told them and they agreed. They studied for about five hours straight and it was a very tiring thing.

          Hilde was glaring at Heero, although Cathy thought their friendship was rather cute with how it had now gained psychical contact. 

          Heero was trying to keep from shoving Duo off of him and touching himself. If Duo found out that he was turned on.... It would not be a very good thing.

          Cathy glanced at her watch. 

          "Oh my god!" she cried. "I have a hair appointment in an half hour and I have to drop off Hilde! We've got to go."

          "Oh, okay," Duo spoke, standing as he followed them to the door. 

          "Thanks a lot! I guess we'll see you two Monday?" Cathy asked and they nodded. Cathy and Hilde said their farewells and got into their car while Heero was quickly thinking up excuses to leave himself. 

          Now that he and Duo were all alone.... The only thing that could happen was that the entire situation could become disastrous. 

          So Heero also said his farewells and, though he was very much regretting going home, left. 

          He then immediately took a shower. 

          It was a very pleasant one, at that.

          Sunday was lazy. Heero basically ignored his parents and wrote both an end-of-term paper for lit and psychology.

          He also thought about his obsession. 

          But that was why it was an obsession, right?

          Monday was tests. Very long, boring tests. Lunch was a very small escape, but after lunch Hilde once more confronted him. 

          "You are such a disgusting man, Heero," she spat in the hallway and Heero immediately took up defense. What did he do *this* time?

          "Hilde...?" 

          "The only reason you like him so much is because he can get your fucking bread to rise!" 

          "What?!" Heero practically choked on his own spit.

          "Don't think *I* didn't notice that glazed look in your eyes! Maybe Duo and Cathy didn't, but I sure told them!" 

          "You did *what*?!" Heero exploded. 

          "I told them about your little problem."

          "You *told* him?!" 

          She smirked wickedly. "Of course. Don't you think he has a right to know?" 

          "You probably finger your own goddamnself to him, bitch!" Heero shouted at her in rage and she stepped back as if he'd just smacked her across the face.

          "I...."

          "That's what I thought! So why did you just do that to me?! I would have never said anything if it had been you...." Heero whispered, tears clouding his vision. Since when had he become so fucking emotional?!

          But he knew the answer. 

          Since Duo was involved. 

          Hilde's eyes also filled with mist. 

          "Okay, Heero, I didn't really say anything." 

          He looked at her in confusion. 

          "I didn't say anything, okay?! I just told you I did because I'm jealous and I wanted you to make a fool out of yourself," she admitted softly. "I'm so jealous.... He'll never love me. He lays in your lap and strokes your hair and loves all over you and I just have to sit by and watch.... How do you think that makes me feel? I feel.... I feel awful.... All I can do is watch you two be mushy, Heero, and I want him so badly. I want him like nothing I've wanted before and there's no way in the entire world that I can have him!"

          "But I can't do anything about that Hilde because I'm madly in love with him. I couldn't help it even if I wanted to! Don't you think I want to? Do you think I like the fate that has been set out before me? No! I wish that I were in love with you or Cathy or a woman at all! I can't help but be in love with him.... It hurts...."

          "I'm sorry, Heero...."

          "And I'm sorry too, Hilde, really...."

          With the first bell, they parted without saying goodbye.

          "You are almost late again," Duo spoke. 

          "I know." 

          "Talking to Hilde?" 

          Heero nodded. 

          "You two planning something?" 

          Heero sighed. "She might be."

          Heero prowled his house for something sweet to eat after dinner on Wednesday night. He found some ice cream and was quite pleased as he took his treat back into his room. 

          However, it never got there. 

          "Please don't hurt me...."

          "Shut up!" 

          The ice cream fell to the floor as his hands began to shake. 

          Why?

          Why did their life have to be this way? Was it his fault? Did he do something to deserve this?

          Why?

          He couldn't be there anymore!

          As his mother began to scream, he began to run. 

          He couldn't think anymore. It hurt so badly.... 

          He had to escape, he was suffocating!

          His mother's pain was killing him, his father's anger hurt. Every emotion was one of anguish.... 

          Why couldn't they be happy anymore?! Where did the perfection he held so dear disappear to?

          He found himself throwing close into his football practice bag and storming out the door. 

          The last sound he heard from his house while passing his parent's bedroom was a scream and the sound of skin on skin. 

          Why did he have to cry? Why did he have to bear so much hurt?

          When he came to himself once more, he found himself at Duo's window. It was ten thirty, he felt like such an intrusion. If he just hid now, maybe Duo wouldn't know.... 

          No, Duo would know. Duo knew everything.          

          The window was pulled up and Duo looked upon his tear-struck face and immediately took pity on him and invited him in. 

          "Can I stay with you tonight?" he asked, barely above a whisper for the fear that he would start crying. 

          All he ever did was cry in Duo's presence. How could anyone love someone who was so absorbed in his own tears?

          "Of course," Duo replied, wrapping his head in his arms and hugging him against his chest. He let his arms lock around Duo's think waist as his face twisted in pain. 

          Duo pulled him down onto the bed, holding him close against his body. 

          "Heero," he whispered, his lips brushing lightly against his ear. 

          Heero's body tingled with Duo's warm, moist breath and heated, soft skin.

          "Cry," he commanded gently.

          Heero bit into his lower lip to fight the tears, but they came pouring from his eyes like rain. 

          "I don't want to cry on you anymore," Heero sobbed, his tears soaking Duo's shoulder. 

          Duo stroked his hair with gentle hands. "If you need it, there is no shame in showing emotions. To be emotionless is to completely lock away yourself. That hurt so much more, Heero. I do not ever want you to be in that much pain. I...."

          Heero's fingers loosened on the folds of Duo's clothing as he sniffled. "How can anything hurt as much as this?" 

          "Do you doubt me?"  
          "But I wanted to protect you and all I do is sob on you." 

          "I do not care about any of that."

          "I know you don't, but I do."

          "You shouldn't." 

          "I know...." 

          "You know in your head, but not in your heart." 

          Heero sniffled again and hugged his head to Duo's chest. 

          "I think there are a lot of things like that." 

          "Like what?" 

          "That you know in your head, but don't feel in your heart. Maybe even the other way around, on occasion...."

          'Like my love for you,' Heero added silently, only in his thoughts. 

          Only ever in his thoughts. 

          And only ever in his heart. 

          Slowly Heero let his hands trail to Duo's sides. 

          He would make Duo laugh. 

          Following Hilde's example, much to his own upset, he moved his hands against Duo's ribs, throwing him into an outrageous giggle fit. 

          "That is not fair mister Yuy!" Duo cried. Heero couldn't help but laugh as Duo struggled against his strength. "Just wait until I get you back! Just wait!"

          "You couldn't!" Heero challenged, staring down on him lovingly while attacking the hell out of his sides. 

          Though he stopped soon, bored of his game and just content to stare down on his love as he caught his breath. 

          The need to kiss him was near overwhelming, so he leaned down and let their cheeks brush against one another. 

          "Heero...?" 

          "Duo...." he breathed. "I...."

          Duo pushed Heero back down onto the bed, quieting him. 

          "You are warm...." Duo observed, snuggling against him and pulling the sheets around them. 

          "Thank you," Heero whispered. 

          Duo just listened to the beat of his heart. 

          "Heero." 

          He awoke to the sound of his name pronounced by Duo's lips. 

          He couldn't have asked for a better wake-up call.

          "Hey...." he greeted, lifting his hand to stoke Duo's fresh, clean skin.

          "Are you going to take a shower or what?" Duo asked, seeming slightly aggravated. 

          "Is something wrong?" 

          "It is only Thursday, that's all." 

          But Heero knew that wasn't it. 

          He did, however, get up to take a shower, dressing in the clothing he had snagged last night, walking out and giving Duo a huge hug, teasing him as he tried to get ready for school. Stupid boy stuff like tugging on his braid and standing in doorways he was trying to get through. 

          He realized his 'cute' behavior was only pissing Duo off more and offered his apologies. 

          "I'll stop coming here," he spoke softly, trying not to speak so that his words of truth would be taken as a guilt trip. 

          He would stop bothering Duo. It was obvious that was the problem. 

          "Heero--!" 

          "No, I'm serious, I don't want to intrude on you anymore. Maybe you don't find me such a great person as I find you...."

          "Heero, no!" he cried. "I am just annoyed with myself. You are my greatest friend. I enjoy your company like no one else's. Please do not abandon me like that!"

          Heero blinked. 

          He didn't think that he would ever hear words like those come from Duo's mouth. 

          He also never realized how much they would mean to him. 

          "As much as you need me, I need you too," Duo admitted quietly. 

          "I never...." 

          "I...." Duo blushed profoundly. "I can not explain...." 

          "I thought I was just a nuisance to you.... I didn't believe.... I *don't* believe I'm anything more than that."

          "You are my greatest strength here. Please...do not leave...?" 

          "I won't," Heero promised.

          Duo smiled and gave him a huge and a quick kiss on the cheek. 

          "Thank you." 

          Heero let his fingers linger over his cheek as Duo put on his shoes, back facing him. 

          "No..." he whispered, "thank *you*."

          They decided to switch off car-pooling every day from now on. It just made more sense and was a lot more fuel-efficient, not to mention they could catch dinner together, if they felt inclined to do so. 

          Thus Friday they picked up smoothies on the way home in Heero's car as a winter vacation treat and Heero drove them around aimlessly, just so that they could talk....

          It got to the point where he never wanted to leave Duo's company. 

          How could he have been more obvious? How come Duo couldn't see how much he adored him?

          And was that really such a bad thing? That Duo couldn't see his love?

          "We have to do something over the break," Heero announced as he realized that it wasn't long before he was going to have to drive Duo to his house.

          "Of course," Duo replied, smiling up at him. 

          "I don't think I can take two weeks locked up with my parents." 

          "I completely understand. My house is open to you. Come over whenever you like. I will not be doing anything of much importance."

          Heero gave him a small smile. 

          "You're too nice." 

          "I know.... I like you too much, Heero." 

          At first Heero was stunned. Did Duo...?

          But of course he couldn't mean that.

          He was just being courteous and being himself. There was no hidden meaning behind Duo's words. 

          So Heero laughed a little. 

          "In truth, I might be a little too fond of you, too," Heero replied, still laughing to cover the actuality of his words. Maybe there wasn't hidden meaning in Duo's words, but the only way he could speak his true feelings was in hidden meaning.

          Slowly the weekend dwindled away. 

          Though he was dying to drive over to Duo's, Heero didn't want to bother the other, and instead was content to practice his violin almost constantly. 

          He would compose something. 

          He didn't know what or for whom, but he'd always wanted to compose something, now seemed like a good enough time with all the grief that was warring inside of him. 

          Besides, he played so loud that he wouldn't have to hear what his parents were doing.

          However Wednesday he cracked. 

          It was three days before Christmas and he was away from Duo for far to long. 

          He'd done what dismal Christmas shopping he had to do, mostly for relatives and such, and even, against his better judgment, purchased a beautiful silver charm bracelet for Duo and several charms which he thought fit Duo quite well. A little book, a rainbow, a rose, an angel, and even a heart charm that you could open to put a picture inside of. 

          He knew he'd never give it to Duo, but maybe it was more of a way for him to always remember Duo by. They were things that represented Duo to him, so even if he would never give it to Duo, he always had a representation of Duo.

          He drove himself to Duo's house, anxiety overwhelming him. He was so afraid that Duo would be annoyed by his constant intrusion, but....

          As he rung the doorbell, the door opened immediately to the wonderful vision of Duo's smiling face. 

          "Heero!" he cried happily. "I was so excited when I heard a car pull into the drive way! I hoped it would be you! I have been so lonely!"

          Duo's excitement was a very pleasant surprise and he smiled back. 

          "Really? Then I'm glad I came. I was kind of getting lonely too...."

          "Come in!" Duo begged, standing out of the way. "It is becoming cold."

          "I know. We might even get a white Christmas." 

          Duo looked at him in confusion as Heero slipped off his shoes and jacket. 

          "You don't know what a white Christmas is?"

          The other blushed and shook his head slightly. 

          "I'm sure you just haven't heard the term before. That's when it snows on Christmas day."

          "Oh!" Duo replied. "I can not believe I did not know that. I guess it is because I never had a white Christmas in California."

          "That's probably it," Heero agreed as he followed Duo down into his room and they sacked out on his bed. 

          "I can't believe that your parents still aren't around...." Heero spoke. 

          Duo shrugged. "They are enjoying themselves." 

          "Obviously." 

          "I am glad." 

          "I think that I would start to get bitter about it after a while." 

          "Maybe I should...." 

          Heero looked over at Duo as he put some Groovelily into the CD player before coming back and lying down next to Heero. 

          They talked for a while before just resting together in perfect silence, just listening to the music. 

          They both considered it a sign of their deep friendship. They could do nothing more than merely lay next to one another and still feel completely at ease and together. 

          However Heero couldn't take it anymore. 

          He knew he was just going to fuck everything up that they had built, but he was going to snap if he didn't do something. 

          Do anything was better than dying in silence.

          Heero turned to look at the beautiful Duo as the boom box fell silent. Duo still stared up at the ceiling, an adorably pensive look spread across his face.  

          Then, very very slowly Heero leaned over and let his lips brush against the soft flesh where Duo's shoulder met his neck.

          Since there was no visible reaction from Duo, Heero considered this a good thing. It was a lot better than a negative reaction. 

          So he let his lips linger a little longer on Duo's skin. Then he paused. 

          Once more no reaction. 

          Figuring that he was still doing okay but becoming a little nervous, Heero began to let instinct take control as his mouth once more met Duo's skin and began to suck on his, nibbling it lightly with his teeth. 

          He could feel the muscles in Duo's body relaxing under his tender touch as his lips moved from the lower part of his neck upward, savoring each and every inch of Duo's skin. 

          He could hardly believe it was real let alone think he would ever get another chance such as this. He had to go slow and engrave every inch into his memory. 

          Heero wanted this forever. 

          His lips reached his ear and he nipped the lobe, letting his tongue play with it and watching as Duo's eyes closed in relaxation. His lips parted slightly as he began to breath more through his mouth and Heero knew that it wouldn't mean a thing unless Duo let him touch his lips. 

          So he began to trail his lips from his ear up his cheek, but when he was just about to partake of Duo's mouth, Duo snapped awake and pushed him away. 

          "Duo--!" Heero cried, blushing what he knew was a brilliant red and sinking away from Duo's ominous form. "I'm sorry--! I--!" 

          "Why did you do that?" Duo asked, confusion thick in his voice. 

          Heero paused, still cringing and wondering if saying the words would be any better than not saying them. Right now, though, it seemed he was in a lose-lose situation no matter what he did. 

          But.... 

          He never said them out loud before. 

          "I love you," he managed.

          Right then he realized that Duo had the power to make or break him, yet Duo did neither. 

          Duo started to cry.

          "Duo...." Heero spoke softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder, but Duo backed away. 

          "I was begging that you would never be able to say those words, Heero!" he cried in upset. 

          Heero was hurt. "Why...? Am I that awful of--"

          "It is not because you are bad or anything like that, Heero, it is because.... I love you too!" 

          The room was dead silent. 

          Heero was perplexed. 

          This was fabulous! 

          So why was Duo crying?

          "I...?" Heero started, not even sure of what to ask. 

          "I am not supposed to love you! I am not supposed to love anyone! Oh.... How do I get myself into these messes? I was never fit for this job...."

          "What are you talking about?" Heero begged, confusion settling thick over his mind. Why didn't he know that the hell was going on?!

          "Heero.... Please.... I guess I shall have to explain." Duo scrubbed the tears away from his face. "You have to promise to believe everything I say. If you speak a word of this to anyone else, I will tell everyone that you are mad and they will believe me."

          Heero just nodded his head. What else was he to do? What could Duo say that would be so horrifying that--

          "I am not from Earth."

          Heero blinked. 

          Yeah, that could put a dent in things. 

          "My people have been studying this planet for a long time, Heero. My entire life I was raised to study this planet with on hand experience. I am only the second of my people to be here. Solo was the first, I am the second. My entire name is a fake, my being is fake. I am Duo because I am the second to come in contact with the Earthlings. Maxwell is my last name because we arranged that I would work at a coffee shop because so many people love coffee that I would get lots of first-hand experience and Maxwell coffee is a very popular brand here.

          "This body was taken from a young college man who had just over dosed on pills merely seconds before I arrived here. This is nothing like my natural form. I do not have a tangible figure. I only inhabit other forms.

          "However everything thing I say and all my thoughts are my own. I only use this body, nothing more.

          "So when I say I love you, I do. That emotion is my own and it is just as strong as any other love.

          "You might ask how something without a body can have a sexual preference, but I suppose that it is somewhat dependent on the body I inhabits preference and the fact that I just find the male human body so much more intriguing.

          "If you can not understand, Heero, I do not blame you, but I can not lie to you. You mean too much to me."

          Heero was, to say the least, shocked. 

          He looked upon the fair Duo's face, honesty shinning clear on it, and sneered. 

          Honesty his ass!

          He'd fallen in love with something that wasn't even from his fucking planet!

          What was Duo, then? Just a cloud of dust? A thought?    

          He wasn't human, he wasn't.... He wasn't Duo. He didn't look anything like the man he had fallen for. 

          But did he fall in love with Duo for just his looks?

          No...and he claims they are his emotions....

          He was kissing a dead body?!

          Or was it no longer dead because this *thing* was inside of it? 

          There was no 'Duo'.

          It was just this *thing*.

          Heero thought that he was going to be sick. 

          "I can't be here anymore," he announced, standing and storming out the room and up the stairs, slipping on his shoes.   
          The thing followed him up and asked him what he was doing.

          "I'm getting the fuck away from all the lies I've just been told!" he screamed, his voice much more shrill than he thought it could be, his eyes blurred with tears. "I thought I could trust you and all I get is more lies! I don't even know what the fuck you are!"

          He slammed the door as he fled the house, driving as fast as he could home before he broke down in the middle of the road in a mess of tears. 

          Heero managed to get all the way up the stairs and into the bathroom before falling to his knees and retching up his breakfast quite painfully. He fell back into the wall, sobbing pitifully and hugging himself. 

          Life was just a fucking lie. 

          Why not end it all?

End Part Six


	7. Part Seven

Begin Part Seven

=====

NOTES: This is the revised version. I got this comment and I thought about it. 

I was really enjoying this fic right up until the last chapter. I really wish you hadn't included that line about Duo and Quatre being so fem they could just as well has been women. It really ruined the entire feel of the fic for me. A man can be happy and joyful and sensitive without being a "women". It really kind of ruins Heero coming out to himself if he thinks of Duo as just a girl with a penis. Gay men like other men...not pseudo women. Seriously, it killed the flow of the fic for me as a gay man.

If he had left his e-mail address, I would have replied directly, but this will have to do.

I never thought about that and it is now changed. See, I don't like men, I'm a lesbian, so I really wasn't thinking when I threw that line in there about them being fem. I wasn't getting enough in character and more of just adding my own thoughts. It never occurred to me that this was wrong because I'm too stupid and never tried to really get into the character that deeply. It also never occurred to me that a gay male would read, let alone enjoy a fic that I wrote. I kinda thought they all just laughed at yaoi writers and stuff. Hey, hey, I'm slightly naïve too, you have to cut me a little break, ne? Actually, I'm rather honored, if you want to know the truth, I just hope that I haven't completely offended anyone else. -_-; It seems I'm becoming really good at offending people, which really upsets me because I never meant to offend anyone.

Anyway, I'm going to also put a quick note at the beginning of chapter eight so that if 'Thomas' is reading this still (which I don't see why he would be after I killed it for him -- damn, I'm so stupid sometimes.... most of the time) that he can come and read my apology. He really made me think and actually, really made me upset with myself, and that's a lot more than I can say for most people.

So I'm sorry. 

Now, if you'd like to read the more correct version if I haven't completely made an ass of myself, continue.

=====

          He successfully locked himself away in his room all Thursday.

          Over and over he replayed everything that had happened between them right up until the end like a CD on repeat. 

          It hurt so much to keep re-watching everything. He wished he could just stop thinking about it, but he couldn't. 

          Was it all a sick joke?

          No, it couldn't be a joke. Duo wouldn't joke like that.

          Duo wouldn't joke? Or maybe 'it' wouldn't joke, but 'it' and Duo were the same, weren't they?

          Duo was always 'it' and 'it' was always Duo. What was he upset about?

          "I'm just running in circles," Heero realized. "What I need is answers, not more questions." 

          So Heero made up his mind to talk to him tomorrow.

          Armed with nothing more than Duo's Christmas gift, Heero rang the doorbell. He was more nervous than he could imagine one could be, but he wouldn't back down.

          Duo taught him to never back down. 

          The door opened slowly and Duo peeked around the corner. When he was satisfied that Heero wasn't going to kill him, he opened the door wider. 

          They faced each other in silence. 

          Finally, Heero spoke. 

          "I want a few answers." 

          "Why?" 

          "Because I feel betrayed," Heero replied simply.

          "Betrayed?" 

          "Maybe you want a few answers too." 

          Somehow Duo managed to smile and shake his head. "Come in?" he asked. "You are physically stronger than me in this body and if I fled, I could not hurt you, seeing as I am nothing more than energy in this dimension so you have no need to fear me." 

          Heero hesitantly stepped inside. 

          "Why were you so cautious then if you could just flee at any time?" Heero asked as they sat down in the kitchen. Duo got them sodas and sat down across from him. 

          "I have grown quite fond of this body, actually." 

          "It's disgusting how you take over people," Heero spat.

          Duo was upset by his accusations -- it was obvious. 

          "This body had lost its energy already, I just gave that back. I cannot inhabit something that already has energy! I would not do that to something with a soul." 

          "So you're walking around in a dead body? Are you telling me I kissed a dead body?!" Heero cried in disgust. 

          "This body is very much alive. Every cell in this body is alive. This is my body, mine now! It was abandoned so I restored it. My hands are warm, my muscles flex! My emotions are very much real and alive! I love you!" 

          "Duo, shut up," Heero asked. 

          "I love you because you remind me of home. How could I not? Everything about you.... The way you think. I miss home, Heero." 

          "Duo. Shut up," Heero commanded this time.

          "I do not meant to guilt trip you, but you are the only person I have, the only person who could possibly understand." 

          "Duo, you're babbling." 

          And he was. Words were just pouring out of his mouth without thought.

          "The whole damn situation is so hopeless anyway. What was I hoping to achieve? By coming here? By loving you? Now that I have lost you, I feel stranded. I am so scared, Heero, I am terrified. I--"

          "I told you, shut up," Heero stood, speaking gently as he titled his chin up and let his lips touch over Duo's, brushing lightly against their warmth.

          When he backed away, Duo was silent, his lips still parted slightly with his first kiss, his eyes open wide with curiosity. 

          Maybe it wasn't the body's first kiss, but Heero know it was Duo's and that just proved that Duo was an individual. 

          An individual that Heero loved. 

          "Why?" he asked, breathless. 

          "I love you, too. I always have. I'm finally understand...." 

          Heero stroked his cheek with his thumb, his fingers twinned in wisps of his soft hair. 

          "Your eyes are beautiful...." Heero whispered, kissing his cheeks. "Maybe that's not a good compliment, seeing as they aren't technically your eyes. You are beautiful...."

          He leaned down and let his lips fall upon Duo's once more, nibbling on his lower lip. 

          "Heero...." Duo murmured, standing. Heero gripped his hands in his own. 

          They were warm. 

          "Duo, will you go out with me?" 

          "Go where, Heero?" Duo asked, his eyes clearly stating that he would follow Heero anywhere. 

          "Um...." Heero hesitated. How could he explain this? "What I meant was will you date me? Go steady with me? Can we be an item? A couple? Together?" 

          Duo blushed and nodded rapidly. "You did not even need to ask." 

          "Yes I did. I want your consent."

          "You have all of my consent."

          Heero pulled him into the living room and set them down onto the couch, snuggling up with him. 

          Duo stroked his cheek slowly as they cuddled. 

          "I never thought I'd get to do this," Heero spoke, kissing his cheek. 

          "I could not even think it. I was not sure you would understand."

          "I didn't at first.... Oh!" Heero reached behind him and pulled out the box. "I got you a gift for Christmas.... I hope you like it...."

          Duo's eyes sparkled as he accepted the gift, opening the little box.

          "Heero! It is beautiful!" He threw his arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I wish I had something to give you...."

          "You don't have to give me anything. You just have to be you. I'll be content."

          "Help me put it on?" 

          Heero took it out, holding it in his hands and looking at the charms. 

          "You know each one represents a part of you to me...." Heero mumbled, blushing like a maniac. "The little book represents how I met you and how smart you are and what we first discovered we had in common, Shakespeare. The rainbow, don't be offended, is because you are, well, homosexual, and because you helped me to realize that within myself rather than to stay miserable the rest of my life."

          Even though Heero's words were rather fumbled and clumsy and he was obviously embarrassed, Duo thought it was one of the sweetest things he had ever encountered and he just wanted to take Heero up in his arms and tell him how much he loved him. However he wasn't sure if he could ever do it in such a beautiful way. 

          "The rose represents your beauty. The angel is what you are to me. My guardian angel and a gift from God to me. The key is to show that you are the first person who has fully been able to unlock the wall that was surrounding my being and my heart, the only person that will ever be able to. The heart is because you have captured mine. You can open it and put a little picture in there, if you want," Heero explained, locking it around his wrist. 

          "I will have to get a picture of you to put in the locket," Duo told him, admiring the beautiful piece of jewelry on his wrist with bright eyes, his nimble fingers playing over the silver gems. 

          Heero admired the beautiful boy that sat in his lap, his arms around his waist.

          "Do you mind if I kiss you?" Heero asked and Duo's eyes looked up, blushing. 

          "I...I like it...."

          "That's nothing to be ashamed of. I like to kiss you too." Now Heero was blushing once more, his eyes still locked on Duo's. 

          "Are you ashamed?" 

          "No, just more shy than I want to be." 

          Slowly, nervous now, they both moved a little closer before closing their eyes and the space between their lips. 

          Heero let his tongue slide across Duo's lips, pushing them open gently and slipping into the warm, sweet depths of Duo's mouth. 

          He could feel Duo's shock at this and Duo's hands tightened around Heero's sleeves as he groaned into the kiss. 

          This as something he had never experienced before and it was amazing! His tongue waged war with Heero's as they fought for dominance. Lovingly, of course. 

          Duo began to moan softly as Heero pinned him down on the couch. Heero was slowly being driven out of his mind as Duo moaned his name into his mouth repeatedly. 

          Duo was his. 

          Then Heero realized Duo was slowly becoming hard when his upper leg brushed against Duo's crotch. 

          Heero wasn't ready for that kind of relationship and he knew Duo would regret it if they did do something like that. 

          Though he didn't want to, he unhooked himself from Duo's mouth and lay back against the couch as Duo caught his breath. Heero realized he was shaking slightly and decided that it was definitely a good thing he stopped when he did. Duo needed to get used to a human body. 

          "Heero...." he panted and Heero turned to look at the slightly shaking boy. "Why did you stop...? I.... It felt so good...."

          Heero smirked. "Obviously too good. I'm not ready to have sex with you, Duo, and the way it was going.... It would have been hard to stop short of that if I let it continue much longer. You need to become used to the human body and not let yourself get so involved in kissing. I should never have gone that far." 

          Duo sat up and bit down on his lower lip, curling up along the inside of the couch. 

          "I am sorry, Heero.... I do not know.... I will try to be better. I will try."

          Heero looked over at his hurt boyfriend and grabbed his hand. 

          "Don't apologize. It's actually kind of nice to know that I can turn someone on. I just wanted you to understand my reasoning." Heero pulled him in to his chest, stroking his hair lightly as Duo calmed his body. "I won't be able to see you tomorrow. I have parents. They'll want to spend this holiday in good cheer, or some other bullshit. Do you want to go to the movies with me the day after Christmas?"

          Duo blinked up at Heero, ecstatic that he wasn't mad. 

          "I told Quatre that I would do something with him over the break. Would you mind going with Quatre and Trowa?" Duo asked, scared that Heero would say no or be upset by the idea.

          "Quatre and Trowa?" 

          "They are together too."

          "Really? I've never done a double date before.... Trowa isn't such a bad guy, although I don't know much of Quatre...."

          "He is very nice," Duo said, smiling wide now, happy that he had won Heero's approval. Heero was truly the only thing he had on the entire planet and the closest reminder of home he had. 

          "Well, then, what movie do you want to see?" 

          Christmas was living hell for Heero. The entire thing was so fake, and everyone felt it. His mother and father clung to each other and treated Heero as if he was once more merely five years of age. Heero realized that she was desperately trying to pull their family back into what it was before all the pain. 

          Heero also realized that none of them could ever go back.

          They could never go back to the way it was, they could only progress. 

          Unfortunately, his mother wanted to go back, his father didn't give even half a rat's ass either way, and Heero wanted to move forward. So essentially they got nowhere and Heero knew they never would.

          Yet the next day was glorious. Heero picked Duo up around three and they met with Quatre and Trowa at the movie theater. Duo and Quatre immediately began chatting and Duo could be seen bragging about his gift softly while Trowa and Heero were decided upon to order snacks for their sweethearts. 

          "I thought you said that men weren't your thing," Trowa murmured as they waited in line. 

          Heero shrugged. "They weren't."

          "Are you serious about Duo?" 

          Heero was indignant. "Of course! I don't think I've ever been so serious about anyone in my entire life!"

          "I didn't mean to offend you," Trowa replied, a little surprised by his reaction. "I just don't want him to be hurt. You have to admit, it's slightly odd...."

          "I don't think so. I was raised to be perfect, Trowa, but I'm not," he whispered, trying very hard to open himself up to more people. He couldn't be as closed as he was anymore. He just couldn't. It was hurting him more than it ever helped him. He needed people to know who 'he' was. "Duo helped me accept my imperfections. This is merely one of them." 

          Trowa thought about this and came to the conclusion that Heero was a better man than he thought. 

          With their popcorn and sodas and candy, they made their way into the movie theater. Duo and Quatre sat next to each other, still managing to gab before the movie started. Heero and Trowa were on their respective sides. None of them found it any different than a normal date. 

          Yet Heero was rather protective of Duo and held his hand tightly since the time they sat down. As the lights began to dim, he leaned over and gave Duo a quick peck on the lips, much to the surprise of Quatre and Trowa, who were never so bold about their sexualities.

          After the movie they decided on Mexican, getting a booth and sitting with their respective partners. 

          Heero wasn't sure if he'd ever had that much fun in his entire life. 

          Before the food came Duo had to know if Quatre had with him what he called his 'little camera'. Of course, seeing as the entire thing was a phone conspiracy, Quatre brought it because Duo had asked after Heero left. They got several shots of Heero and Duo with Quatre's small Izone camera, most of which were given to Heero and the two of Duo's choice taken to be cut to fit the locket. 

          They shared two large orders of steak and chicken fajitas. Heero would fork-feed Duo pieces of meat and they would laugh.... 

          Heero never laughed as much as he did with Duo and Quatre and Trowa. Even Trowa turned out to have a slightly odd but very pronounced sense of humor when he wanted to use it. It was such frivolous humor, too. None of it made any sense if you looked back on it, but at the time it was so amusing....

          Heero figured that maybe this was what real friends and real love was. He had never had this before, and he never had real friends or love. It seemed plausible....

          Whatever it was, he didn't want to give it up for anything. He just wanted to lock his arm around Duo's waist and have Trowa and Quatre one step behind them.... That was all he needed. 

          After dinner they decided to go back to Duo's house just to chill. 

          And chill they did. 

          Duo managed to find a focus and decided upon fixing the pictures to fit into his locket while Heero followed at his heels, usually with his arms around his waist. Quatre and Trowa, now out of the eyes of on lookers, settled down on Duo's bed and began some serious making out.

          "They trust you," Duo observed quietly as he cut around a picture of the two of them, Heero's arm around his neck and Duo's head on his chest. 

          "What do you mean?" Heero further questioned, glancing back at Quatre and Trowa. 

          "They would not do that if they did not trust you. They are very...private." 

          "That's good," Heero whispered into Duo's ear, nipping it gently. "I want them to trust me. I want to trust them."

          "You are going to make me mess this up, Heero, if you keep taunting me so," Duo spoke up, trying to wave Heero away from his ear. 

          "That's not fun," Heero fake-pouted. 

          "What are you doing to poor Duo over there?" Quatre called from the bed. Trowa was lying on top of him, his arms locked firmly around his waist, his head buried in his neck. You could tell by the unusually rare lax position of Trowa's body that he was completely and comfortably at ease with Quatre in his arms and what Heero was in glee to find real friends around him.

          "Stupid guy stuff," Duo called back. 

          "We haven't even been dating long enough for me to pull all the stupid guy stuff," Heero replied, placing a kiss on his neck. 

          It was the truth, yet secretly he felt that they were together since they first met, and their first meeting seemed so long ago.... 

          He felt that they could easily date as long and longer than Quatre and Trowa, who were going on two years. He learned that their relationship was on the rocks when they started out. Trowa was afraid to open himself to Quatre who took it as rejection. Yet they suck through. 

          Heero knew he despised Duo in the beginning, but he looked beyond everything. They would be able to stick together. 

          "Trust me, Duo, there is a *lot* of stupid guy stuff," Quatre told him as he placed the pictures in the locket, turning to Heero and indicating he wanted Heero to help him put the bracelet on. Heero reluctantly removed his arms from around Duo's waist and fastened it around his wrist.

          Heero's eyes shown into Duo's as he began to tickle him lightly, backing him into the wall. 

          "Heero!" Duo cried as he writhed under Heero's hands, laughing madly. 

          That was Heero's signal to stop. He let him catch his breath for a moment before attacking him with his lips and tongue. 

          "You think they're a good match?" Quatre asked, stroking Trowa's bangs. 

          "They balance one another," Trowa replied, "although at first I was hesitant on his stability." 

          Quatre kissed the bridge of Trowa's nose. 

          "I think Heero's a pretty good guy." 

          "He's proving himself."

          Heero brought his lips away and stared down at his rosy-cheeked beauty, stroking his hair. 

          "I've had so much fun today," he whispered. "More than I ever thought I could. I'm so happy.... All I want to do is hold you. I'm so grateful for you.... I love you." 

          Duo wrapped his arms around his neck. 

          "You know I love you too." 

          The rest of the break Heero and Duo tried to spend as much time as possible together. They shared their feelings and Heero was trying to comprehend Duo's home, but he couldn't. First of all, Duo could exist in any dimension, but he was primarily in the eighth. That was where Heero stropped trying to understand and decided just to be glad that he had Duo. 

          He did begin thinking heavily about showing physical affection and the results it could cause. 

          He decided that too many people had their heads up their asses and they would just have to get over it. 

          He loved Duo and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to show it. 

End Part Seven 


	8. Part Eight

Begin Part Eight

=====

NOTES: To 'Thomas' -- if you're still reading this, go back to chapter seven. I left a large apology at the top because I realize I fucked up big time with that and I cut the lines from the fic about them being femme. I'm sorry. My complete explanation is at the top of part seven. I feel like repeating everything I said cause I feel like I've made an idiot of myself and I feel like shit for it, too, but I don't want to make people keep reading these apologies and make an even bigger ass of myself. -_-;

=====

          Heero grabbed Duo's hand as they got out of his car and walked boldly toward the school. 

          "I hope we get a few classes together," Duo voiced. 

          "You are down for orchestra, aren't you?" Heero asked, squeezing his hand a little tighter as they walked through the doors. 

          People, to Heero's surprise, seemed not to even be paying attention. The people who did notice looked a little shocked or disgusted. Then there were the occasional few who were surprised, but only because it was Heero. There was no disgust in these people's eyes. 

          "I hope I am not too bad.... It would be embarrassing." 

          "I wouldn't worry about it, Duo. I'm sure you're fantastic. You're fantastic at everything else." 

          Duo blushed a little with his words of praise. 

          "Where's your homeroom?" 

          "I will show you. It is on the two hundred hall." 

          "Ah, okay," Heero replied, grinning. He was glad Duo had the same feelings on public affection. 

          Well, it was that or Duo was oblivious to some of the looks they were getting, which seemed impossible. 

          Duo smiled back at him. 

          "I am glad to see you happy." 

          "I'm glad to see you."

          Duo stopped outside of room two-o-eight and Heero grabbed him around the waist and gave him a peck on the lips.

          "Hopefully I'll see you today."

          Duo nodded. 

          Heero gave him another quick kiss before bidding him farewell. 

          First period he had an Oracle class, which was unbelievably boring for a first day, not to mention the snickering and questions got to him a little. 

          Second period was Trig with Wufei. Next to Wufei. 

          Partners with Wufei. 

          "I knew you were a fag," Wufei hissed.

          Heero glared. "I love him. Who cares?" 

          "I'm glad I stopped being your friend when I did." 

          "You dumbshit! I was the one who left you. Thank the good lord I did because I have better friends than you now."

          Wufei seemed slightly offended. 

          "If you can even call them that," he spat.

          "I can and I do." Heero smirked. "I think you'd find yourself happier if you found a man, Wufei." 

          Wufei was speechless -- but not for long. 

          "I'm not going to pick up your disgusting habits!" 

          "You sure, Wufei?" Heero asked. "You know you always found me attractive."

          Wufei's head shot forward and he stared at the board. 

          Heero couldn't believe that he was right. It was an educated guess, but still....

          Next period he had American Government and Economics and walked in to see Duo sitting in the back of the room, daydreaming. 

          Heero sat down in front of him and grabbed his hand. 

          "Hey," Heero smiled.

          "Heero!" Duo cheered, immediately perking up. "I was afraid that we would not have any classes together at all...."

          "You have orchestra next, right?" 

          Duo nodded, smiling. 

          "Good." 

          "Heero...."

          Heero noticed the sudden change of direction the conversation took and how serious Duo's voice was. 

          "Yeah?" 

          "Some people are asking me very personal questions that I do not wish to answer...."

          Heero immediately felt anger swell in his chest. 

          "What kind of questions? I'll pound the living fuck out of anyone--"

          "No, Heero. You become just as bad as them."

          "If they touch you--"

          "No, they just ask questions. About me...about you.... About us, together."

          Heero kissed his hand. "They don't need to know anything."

          Duo smiled at his boyfriend. "No, they do not."

          They had lunch together, along with Quatre, Trowa, and Cathy. Luckily Hilde was nowhere to be seen because Heero was sure he didn't want to confront her right then.

          Hand in hand they walked to orchestra together. Heero insisted on carrying his books, although Duo told him that it was unnecessary. Orchestra, Heero thought, would be a haven for them because some many musicians were more open-minded than the rest of the population, if they weren't gay themselves.

          But he was wrong. 

          Quatre was in the class with them, so they had him on their side, and a few others, but a majority of the class shunned them. 

          Duo seemed not to notice, so Heero tried to ignore it himself and just be supportive of Duo. He wasn't sure if Duo was truly naïve to the situation because he wasn't from this world, or if he was a step ahead and was just acting stupid so that Heero would think he was naïve. Either way was possible with Duo. He figured it was probably the latter of the two. 

          Halfway through orchestra, disaster hit it's highest peek when Heero and Duo were both called to the office.

          Walking down the halls, Heero felt Duo grip his hand tight in assurance. Duo had nothing to worry about -- he wasn't from this planet. He didn't have parents who would beat him down because he was gay. Heero, on the other hand, did, and was unbelievably nervous and frightened. 

          Sometimes he hated the fact that Duo brought his emotions out for him to see more clearly. 

          This was one of those times. 

          "Do not worry, Heero," he spoke softly as they walked to administration. "I will always be here for you."

          "I don't want to be hurt anymore...." Heero murmured, afraid his voice would show his fear if he spoke too loudly. 

          Duo stopped and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

          "This world is full of pain. It is a test. Whoever passes the test moves to the next level with more strength. Whoever fails, is destroyed. Destruction is a hundred times worse than pain, Heero. Destruction is torture because although there is pain, sometimes there is happiness and that is what you must hold on to," he whispered softly into Heero's ear, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

          Heero just held his arms around his waist, unbelievably grateful for Duo's support.

          Duo pushed away a little and Heero understood that they had to keep walking, but he didn't want to keep walking. He wanted to stand right there with Duo in his arms forever.... 

          Yet he managed to brace himself and with Duo's fingers between his, walk though the administration door and up to the desk. 

          "Someone wanted to see us."

          The look the secretary gave them said plainly that she knew exactly what they were there for and agreed whole-heartedly with it.

          Heero decided he didn't like that look.

          Never parting hands, they followed her back into a room and sat down in two chairs in front of a neatly organized desk. The posters on the walls were those that Heero despised most. The ones that posted things like 'achievement' and 'accomplishment' that only ever succeed in making you feel like more of a failure.

          "Mr. Ritchie will be with you shortly."

          With those words, all hope was lost. 

          Heero was praying they would talk to one of the female administrators because women happened to be more accepting of homosexuality, but no, they had to have Mr. Ritchie. 

          "I'm so fucking dead," Heero muttered, longing to rest his head on Duo's shoulder and cry, but he couldn't. He had to be strong right then.

          "No, Heero," Duo replied calmly, squeezing his hand tighter. "No. You will withstand destruction. I know you will."

          "I'm glad someone has a little faith in me, because I don't," Heero answered, looking up into his beautiful boyfriend's eyes. 

          "Do not lose faith in yourself. You are a wonderful person, the world just dealt you a few injustices."

          Suddenly the door was opened and they both turned to look at the tall man. 

          He crossed the room briskly after shutting the door behind him and sat down in his seat, look at the two boys crossly. 

          "This is your second time down here, mister Yuy," he spoke. "Last semester it was for a porn show, I understand?" 

          "Yes," Heero replied, "but I will stand by the fact that I did not plan that. Someone took the disks and replaced them."

          The administrator sighed. "Let's not go back into that, shall we? You were suspended for a week, right?" 

          "Yes, but you were the one who didn't want to go back into it," Heero snapped back, wishing they would stop talking about the computer programming incident and just get this punishment over with. 

          "Right. Well, Heero, Duo, you seem to have caused quite a disturbance."

          "Why?" Heero asked. "We haven't had sex in the halls like some of your resident straight couples do."

          Mr. Ritchie glared and Heero felt Duo's grip tighten on his hand, telling him to calm down.

          "You were 'making out explicitly in the halls', most people report."

          Heero rolled his eyes, becoming angry now. "We were not. I had my arms around his waist and I pecked him twice on the lips, no tongue or nothing! Twice! Before homeroom. Then I held his hand. Oh, I know, that must be some kind of crime."

          "I doesn't matter what you did, Heero, but you disrupted a large amount of the student body--" 

          "Well they shouldn't be! They should just suck it up and deal because I love him just as much as I'm sure you love your wife, if not more, and homosexuality is a real thing that people will have to deal with in their lives!"

          Mr. Ritchie was glaring daggers and Heero glared back in defiance. 

          "I really hate to do this to you, Heero, seeing as you are one of the best football players we've ever had, but I'm going to have to call your parents and expel you for disturbing the peace and disrespecting me."

          Heero blinked. 

          "Call my...parents?"

          "They don't know about this homosexual joke yet?" he asked, disgust in his voice. "Well don't worry, they soon will. I'm giving you five days and Duo there three. He's certainly not as disrespectful as you."

          "Wait! I want to talk to a councilor about this!" Heero demanded, hoping that maybe the councilors would be able to help him out. "This isn't your field of expertise! This should be confidential!" 

          Mr. Ritchie rolled his eyes. "Nice try. I would be quiet if I were you unless you want ten days OSS."

          "Heero," Duo whispered and Heero turned to look at his love. "Heero, you should calm down. You are shaking."

          Heero realized that he was indeed shaking in anger and fear. He felt Duo's other hand join his, holding his fingers tightly as Mr. Ritchie picked up the phone. 

          "Hello Mr. Yuy, this is Mr. Ritchie calling about your son, Heero."

          Heero felt his face was wet and realized he was crying.

          "Yes, he's in trouble."

          He felt his stomach churn. He could almost hear his father's voice on the other end of the phone.... Adrenaline pumped through his body and he stood. 

          "Heero?"

          "Not only is he being disrespectful to me, but he has disturbed the peaceful atmosphere greatly once again." 

          Heero suddenly stormed out of the room, Duo at his heels and two female administrators behind him, commanding him to stop lest he be in more trouble. 

          He was sobbing silently by this time, tears running in rivers down his cheeks as he stepped into the bathroom, doubling over and vomiting into one of the grungy toilet bowls. The smell alone was bad enough to make one sick and it certainly didn't help the situation. 

          The female administrators didn't follow him into the bathroom, but Duo did and he stroked his hair, trying to be comforting as he watched Heero in pain.

          He helped Heero to his feet and over to a sink, pulling out a few paper towels and running them under cold water as he wiped his forehead and cheeks and neck with them. 

          "Shh, Heero," he soothed, wrapping an arm around him to stroke his back. "It will be okay.... It will be okay...." 

          Heero's arms tightened almost crushingly around Duo's thin waist as he sobbed shamefully into Duo's neck. 

          "I love you so much," he whispered, "but I'm so fucking scared to go home.... I'm so fucking scared. Why can't people understand? Why are people so fucking stupid?" he asked of Duo, who he knew couldn't answer his questions.

          Instead Duo was contented just to stroke his cheek and whisper his support in Heero's ear. 

          Though all too soon they were taken down by male administrators, forcing them apart and back up to the office. 

          Heero tried to clean his face with his hands as he glared rebellion back up at everyone.

          He wasn't going to be taken sitting down. 

          They were both made to sign forms and given lectures and were held back thirty minutes after the bell rang for dismissal because of this. 

          Heero tuned out most of what was said to him and kept his thoughts on escaping the school and hopefully going back to Duo's house to cry and snuggle with him. 

          Finally they escaped. 

          "I have to take you to your parents, Heero," Duo announced. "I...I have to."

          Heero realized this and decided that Duo was right and there was nothing he could do about it. 

          They climbed into his car in dead silence. 

          Duo pulled out of the parking lot and drove Heero to his house, parking in the driveway. 

          Heero didn't feel fear or anxiety or anything. 

          He felt completely numb, as if he wasn't really a part of everything that was going on around him. He was disconnected, detached. He couldn't feel a thing. 

          Even when he and Duo kissed, he felt nothing. He barely recognized the hands with opened the car door or felt his feet take the steps up to his house. 

          He opened the door and shut it. 

          A man stood there. 

          A man....

          His father. That's right....

          He stood before his father and blinked unsure of what to do next. He couldn't comprehend what to do next. He wasn't a part of his body anymore. 

          Even when his father took the first hit, he didn't feel it. 

          The second punch knocked him to the floor, but he didn't feel it. He didn't get back up. He just lay there. 

          He was already too broken to care. 

          He felt a shoe at his stomach and then he was sliding into the wall. 

          He realized that his mouth opened and that he was coughing, but it didn't connect, as did the shoe once more with his stomach. 

          He heard words being spoken, but they didn't make sense. 

          Nothing made sense. 

          He saw red, but why was it there?

          There was something warm on his hands and arms. Sticky. What...what was it?

          He felt so light headed....

          He felt like he was floating away, being lifted off the floor. 

          Suddenly there was so much light and he was floating. 

          He heard a shrill cry. It sounded so familiar.... Oh, but it hurt too much to think. He was too far gone. Why did it matter? He was going to die. 

          He was flying. Flying through the air now. The nothing held him up and time seemed suspended. 

          Yet all to soon he fell and was met with the hard ground. 

          Maybe he didn't make it up to heaven. 

          Maybe he was in hell.

          But did it really matter?

          He was away.

          It felt like rain. Tiny pin pricks on his skin.

          He was gone. All he had to do was close his eyes and he would be away....

          Slowly now.... 

          He would be away.

          It didn't matter anymore. 

          It didn't...matter....

          Yes....

          The world was getting darker now. Everything spinning.... Lighter, then darker....

          Not much longer.

          Eyelids dropped over the stormy blue eyes rolled back in Heero Yuy's head.

End Part Eight


	9. Part Nine

Begin Part Nine (semi-revised)

          When Heero came to he realized exactly where he was immediately. 

          He was in Duo's bed. 

          A small smile graced his lips, but then a grimace when he also discovered what an awful headache he had.

          Duo's head peeked through the door way and immediately a huge smile spread across his face as he bounded into the room and sat down next to Heero on the bed. 

          "Heero! You are awake!" he cried happily, grabbing his hand and kissing his knuckles. "I love you!" 

          Heero chuckled despite his headache. "And I love you too." 

          Duo lay down next to him and snuggled against his neck. "I was so scared for you.... I am never letting you go back!" he declared, sitting up once more, anger and fierce protection splashed across his face. 

          "Duo.... What happened...? Never letting me go back where?" Heero asked, confusion thick in his voice.

          "You don't remember?"

          Heero tried to think, pain washing through his head. 

          "I remember getting suspended...." No matter how hard he thought, he couldn't discover why he was in Duo's bed.

          "I can't remember...."

          Duo leaned down and let his lips brush over Heero's for a minute. 

          "I love you so much...." he whispered. "When you walked into your house, I waited, because I knew something bad was going to happen. I just knew it. Five minutes later the door opened and...and who I presume to be your father threw you to the ground. You were beaten, bleeding, coughing up blood. You.... I was so scared, Heero! I was terrified when you closed your eyes! I thought you had abandoned me! I thought he killed you!" Duo cried, a few tears slipping past his eyelids. "I brought you here. You were still breathing. I.... You had just passed out. Oh, Heero, I love you...." Once more Duo settled down and hugged him, tears wetting Heero's neck from where Duo's face was buried into it.

          Slowly Heero stoked the soft strands of Duo's hair, letting him cry out his fears, stunned that he didn't remember such a thing. Obviously it terrified Duo and he didn't blame him.

          "Duo...."

          Duo took his head from Heero's neck and looked down on the face of his love. 

          "Yes?" 

          "I love you too."

          Duo smiled weakly at him. "Is there anything I can get you?" 

          "Some aspirin might be nice," Heero tried to laugh. "I have an awful headache."

          Duo's smile became marginally brighter. 

          "I think I can handle that, as long as you promise to go back to sleep afterward. You need some more rest. I want you to get better soon."

          Heero spoke yes, since nodding hurt too much.

          When Heero awoke next, he found Duo sleeping, his head nuzzled into his chest. The failing light that snuck through the cracks in the blinds glittered off Duo's golden hair and illuminated his beautiful pale skin.

          Duo's eyes opened and they stared into each other until Heero could take it no more and began to stroke his bangs lightly. 

          "You thought I was sleeping," Duo observed. 

          Heero nodded, he didn't have a headache anymore and he generally felt a lot better than when he first awoke. 

          Duo brought a hand up and stroked his cheek. 

          The both of them were so content in their love that they didn't need words to express their feelings. They merely needed each other's eye contact and gentle, loving touch, and they were satisfied.

          However the romantic moment was ruined when Heero's stomach growled its hunger. 

          Duo giggled at him and Heero blushed slightly, embarrassed by his body's protests of its malnourishment. 

          Yet Duo leaned up and gave him a peck on the nose. 

          "Want some take-out Chinese?" he asked, standing and helping Heero to his feet, wrapping his arms slowly around his neck and rocking his body slightly against Heero's hip, his face resting in Heero's neck. 

          "Sounds great," Heero replied, stroking Duo's soft braid.

          "...love you...." Duo whispered softly. 

          Heero let his fingertips run down Duo's cheek. "Love you too," he murmured back.

          Duo smiled up at him, beaming, and dragged him up the stairs. They ordered fried pot stickers, beef lomain, and white rice then snuggled up on the couch to wait for the food to arrive. 

          "Hey Duo?" Heero asked and Duo looked up at his love. "How do you pay for all of this? You work at Starbucks coffee."

          Duo managed a blush. "Well, ah, you see.... I do not work there anymore. I now work at a bank. I um, well, I mess with the files once a month or so.... No one notices...."

          Heero just stared. "I can't believe...."

          Duo cringed. Heero saw a look of dishonor and shame cross through his eyes. He really didn't know how to accept this information. He wanted to say that it was okay because it was Duo and he was foreign -- really foreign -- but he knew that was a shitty excuse.

          "I don't want you to do that much anymore.... We'll just have to combine incomes."

          Duo's eyes shown. "You mean you are staying with me?"

          "Unless the law gets involved." 

          Duo threw his arms tight around Duo, almost suffocatingly close, and Heero hugged back with everything in him. 

          "I owe so much to you," he spoke quietly, obligation in his voice. "I don't ever want to be away from you.... I...I want to do everything for you. If you could only see what an amazing person you are and how much I love you...."

          Duo smirked at him. "I think I see how much you love me just by looking into your eyes and realizing how strong my feelings are for you," he replied, leaning down and placing his lips over Heero's. 

          Heero willingly complied with the kiss, wrapping his arms around Duo's thin waist, relishing in the feel of Duo's body against his. He loved it, he loved Duo. It didn't matter that it wasn't Duo's body or true form, because it was. That was all Heero ever saw him as, that was all he ever would. That was how he knew Duo and that was how he loved him. He wanted to show the beautiful, technical brains of Duo just what the human body was like and this was his vessel with which to do it.

          Then the doorbell rang. 

          Heero groaned his annoyance as Duo quickly got off of him to answer the door. 

          He followed Duo out to the door and watched as the transaction was made between the two of them. He was rather scared for Duo. Scared that someone would realize his beauty and take advantage of him, because he was very beautiful. At the same time, though, he didn't want to become too possessive of his love and scare him away. 

          They returned to the living room floor with sodas and began their little feast. 

          "So, what do you think we are going to be doing for the next three days?" Duo asked, grinning from ear to ear. 

          Heero shrugged. "I'm out for five, Duo."

          "I know, but I am only out for three. It would look awful suspicious if I just did not show up. Rumors would be worse than ever."

          Heero didn't say anything. He didn't like this idea at all, but on the other hand he knew he had to give Duo some freedom. 

          "You are upset with this," Duo spoke up after a few minutes of silence. "Tell me why you are upset so that we can move away from the distraction."

          "I'm upset because I'm afraid someone like Wufei will get his hands on you and try to hurt you...." Heero admitted, staring down at the pot sticker and twirling the fork slowly in his hand.

          "I guess that I will have to take that chance." Duo lifted a hand to his cheek and brought his face up to look at him. "Do not worry about me so much, Heero. I am a man too; I will fight back when I need to." Duo leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before settling back into his food.

          Heero wasn't much relieved, but decided to move away from the subject. 

          "Well, I have to go to work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday."

          "Oh? I have to work Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so we will have tomorrow together." 

          Heero smiled. "Good. I can't imagine a better fate for me at the moment." 

          "What will we do tomorrow?" 

          "Sleep in," Heero decided immediately and Duo nodded rapidly in agreement to the suggestion. "Then we can grab breakfast or something and maybe hop some movies?"

          "I think that we should get your stuff...."

          Heero's brows furrowed in confusion. "My stuff?" 

          "You know, while your parents are at work, you should get your stuff from your room?"

          Heero nodded solemnly. "If they call...."

          "I will tell them to fuck off."

          Heero couldn't help but giggle slightly. Duo rarely ever cursed and he had such conviction to his voice and posture as he said the words that it made him adorable. 

          "Are you laughing at me mister Yuy?" Duo asked, picking up a napkin and whapping him with it. 

          "No! You're being cute!" 

          "Oh, I see how it is! I am being cute, huh? You know, being cute is sooo funny!" 

          "It is! You are cute!" 

          "Oh, and how am I being cute, eh?" 

          "Just the way you said 'fuck off'! It was adorable!" 

          Duo blushed a little, still trying to act flustered and doing a miserable job of it, finally giving up to say, "you know, Yuy, you have the easiest time sweet talking me."

          Heero snorted. "I wasn't sweet talking you."

          "You were not?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow. 

          "No. *This* would be sweet talking you, you beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, bright little sweet heart you," Heero murmured, moving closer to him with each word and finally knocking him back onto the shag carpet, taking the fork out of his hand and placing it in the pot sticker tray. "You're just the most amazing thing I've ever laid eyes on and there's nothing in the entire world I would ever give you up for. I just wanna lay right next to you for the rest of my entire life and love you up until your mind goes numb and kiss you...." he trailed off, letting his lips linger over Duo's before closing his eyes and ravishing Duo's sweet mouth.

          Duo brought his hands up to trail through Heero's hair, pulling him closer to his body. Heero began to trail sloppy kisses down Duo's neck, nipping on all the sensitive flesh where his neck met his shoulders. 

          Heero knew what he wanted and he knew he wanted Duo, but he was much too afraid that he would scare him away. They'd only been together for a few weeks, though it felt like so much longer....

          No, it was definitely not time yet to do anything.

          Heero rolled off of the tease underneath him and let their fingers twine together as they stared up at the ceiling, watching the stars through the skylight. 

          "Do you know that line from Romeo and Juliet about the moon?" Heero asked quietly. 

          Duo shook his head slowly. "Do you remember it?" 

          "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she; be not her maid, since she is envious; her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast if off. It is my lady; O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing; what of her eye discourse, I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing, and think it were not night! See how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Heero recited flawlessly. 

          "Ah me!" Duo continued. 

          "O, speak again, bright angel!" Heero returned, "for thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winger messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."

          "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?" Duo replied, then changing pace, recited, "Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face; else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak tonight. Fain would I dwell on form--fain, fain deny what I have spoke; but farewell compliment. Dost thou love me? I know thow wilt say 'Ay'; and I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st thou mayst prove false. At lovers' perjuries, they say Jove laughs. O' gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully, or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay, so thow wilt woo; but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my havior light; but trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware, my true love passion. Therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love, which dark night hath so discovered." [1]

          Their words trailed away and they were left in a comfortable silence. 

          "You knew more than you thought," Heero finally spoke. 

          Duo turned to look at him. "I know the entire thing, I merely wanted to hear it from your sweet lips."

          Heero sat up, sighing and giving him a kiss. 

          "I suppose this should be cleaned?" 

          Duo nodded and they both set to work cleaning. 

          They were finished quickly and retreated downstairs, stripping down to boxers and climbing into the bed together when the phone rang. 

          Duo sat up and grabbed it, speaking hello. 

          Heero immediately saw his face darken.

          "Yes," he growled then paused. "No. No," he repeated and Heero wrapped an arm around his waist for support, nuzzling against his back. "No! I refuse to let him go back there!" All of Heero's muscles immediately tensed and he squeezed his eyes shut tight, violent memories flashing in his mind. 

          _Even when his father took the first hit, he didn't feel it. _

_          The second punch knocked him to the floor, but he didn't feel it. He didn't get back up. He just lay there. _

_          He was already too broken to care._

_          "Heero." _

_          Such twisted emotions.... He craved nothing more than the attention of his father, but now there was such fear...._

_          The entire house smelled of beer...._

_          Just get to my room, lock the door...._

_          "You fucker," he hissed, "you shouldn't stay out late like that." _

_          "It wasn't even nine o'clock!" Heero cried in frustration, only getting another slam across the face. _

          _The copper taste in his mouth...his nose and lips were now bleeding. _

_          Oh Gods, he *was* going to die! His own father was going to kill him!_

_          'Not again! Oh God, Lord, please, don't let him hit me again!'_

          _"Stop it!"_

_          "Please, not again," she pleaded desperately. "I'll call the cops! I swear, this time, I'll call them.... Please don't hurt me...again.... Please...."_

          "He is eighteen! He is legally allowed to get the hell away from you!" Duo argued into the phone. Heero realized that they were both crying. 

          "Give me the phone," he asked. 

          Duo shook his head, his eyes full of anger and sorrow. 

          "There is no way in the entire world you'll get me to change my mind!" Duo declared, his arms now shaking, but his voice still strong and steady and angry. 

          "Give me the phone," Heero commanded again and Duo handed it to him, wrapping his arms around his knees and burry his head in his lap. 

          "Look mom," Heero started, trying to keep the tears out of his voice. She was babbling in hysterics and he just tuned her out. "You get a fucking divorce, okay? You do that. I'm not coming back. I'm not going back! I refuse to be around that bastard! I refuse to be around him!" Heero shouted, his voice growing in volume with each word. "I don't have to live like that! You don't have to live like that! I'm staying right where I am! I don't want to be hurt anymore, you understand? I don't want to be hurt! I'm sick of it! Understand?! I'm sick of it!!" With that, Heero promptly turned the phone off and then back on so she couldn't call back and threw it to the floor. He immediately wrapped his arms around Duo, who uncurled slightly and was sobbing gently into Heero's chest as Heero's tears fell and clung in the soft brown mass of Duo's hair. 

          "Why does everything have to be so violent here?" Duo whispered, clinging to the blankets. "Why is everything so violent...?"

          Heero could only shake his head. "I don't know, lovely.... I don't know...."

[1] act two, scene two, lines two through thirty-four then lines eighty-five through one hundred and six

End Part Nine


	10. Part Ten

Begin Part Ten

NOTES: I know it's been a while! GOMEN MINNA! But I had a date yesterday so I might not drown you in sap anymore because I might have someone else to! WUHAHAHAHA! You are safe! Wish me luck in this new endeavor… @_@; (me + dates + actual love = disaster) ANYway, um.. yeah. The ending is coming SOON. Like, the next chapter and the epilogue.. The contest deadline is also soon! Ek ek! I'm scared I missed it! Oh well… -_-; Yep yep.. so if you're still reading this I have one thing to say: Damn. I love you.

          Heero's eyes opened and he breathed deep, a happy smile gracing his lips. 

          He was safe. 

          He brought his nose up to touch Duo's, staring at his calm face. Their limbs were wrapped together in a tight embrace of love. 

          Then slowly Duo's eyes opened, hazy purple peered through sleep-laden half closed lids. "Heero...." he murmured, moving his head slightly forward and letting his forehead met Heero's. 

          "I love this," Heero whispered back, his eyes shining excitement. 

          "Love what...?" Duo asked softly, eyes still half-shut. 

          "Waking up and seeing you," Heero replied, giving him a slow, lips-only kiss.

          Duo pulled back, his eyes a bit wider now. "I suppose we should take showers and then head over to your house, hmm?" 

          Heero paused to consider. "I suppose so." 

          So for the next hour they took turns in the shower and then sat down together to a breakfast of cereal.

          When they got to Heero's house, no cars other than his were in the driveway and they were both grateful for that. 

          Then it was packing boxes and moving them into either car.

          It was no easy business, moving Heero in. 

          He had taken his computer, scanner, and printer along with all of his books, all of his posters, CDs, DVDs, clothing (which was a good thing since he was wearing yesterday's jeans and one of Duo's undershirts), and other odds and ends. He left behind all of his trophies, however. They meant nothing to him. If anyone, they meant to most to his father and mother so he decided that they should have them. 

          He set up his computer while Duo unpacked his clothing. They listened to some of his CDs in what was now their stereo, putting Duo's old one in the closet. Heero decided that he wasn't in the mood for messing with the Internet connection and began instead to combine their CD collections, but stopped halfway through when a terrible thought crossed his mind.

          "Is something the matter?" Duo asked. He had to have noticed the perturbed look that crossed Heero's face. 

          "Is this going to fast?" Heero inquired quietly. "I'm afraid that it'll burn out before it's even had a chance to live.... I...I don't mind this at all, don't misunderstand, but you.... I don't want to upset you. I don't want to move too fast for you...."

          "Oh, Heero...." Duo cooed, walking over to wrap his arms around his waist, laying his shoulder on Heero's back. 

          "I don't want to guilt trip you into loving me, but you truly are the only thing I have left in the entire universe right now and I want to spend forever with you. I don't want to go too fast and fuck it up for us.... I wonder if maybe I'm just being a baby and I should go back...."

          "No!" Duo cried, his arms getting much tighter around Heero's waist. "No! You will *not* go back while I am watching you, Heero Yuy! This is not too fast for me, I am perfectly comfortable. You do not need to worry, Heero. I want you here. If I did not like you, I would not invite you here, doing so would only have caused everyone more pain in the end. Please do not feel unwanted. I will tell you when I am uncomfortable and right now I am only sad that things had to work out so badly for you."

          After a few moments of silence, Duo released his hold on Heero, leaning up and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping back to unpack the rest of his clothing. 

          Heero smiled at his boyfriend. He really did know the best way to handle every situation. 

          He went back to organizing CDs.

          They found themselves at the movies. They managed to hop a few, finally snuggling up in the last one, barely paying attention to it at all, just each other....

          Heero admitted he was a little nervous about going out because of the fit he was sure his mother threw. He was afraid that she had called the cops and they were going to be searching for him. 

          Duo reassured him that he couldn't let his mother control his life and he was eighteen and legally allowed to leave anyway. 

          Heero found this acceptable and they left. 

          "Heero?" Duo whispered, looking up at his boyfriend, trying to be as quiet as possible. 

          Heero kissed his nose to signal his attention.

          Duo just smiled up at him, his eyes shinning brightly even through the dark of the movie theater as he rested his head on Heero's shoulder. 

          Heero smiled back at him, stroking his bangs slowly. 

          The next few days were lazy. They spent the time getting to know everything about each other. Well, more like everything about Heero. It was amazing, for Heero, to realize how much Duo opened him up. He was going through his past, pulling out memories he thought he'd forgotten where as he would rarely say 'hello' to anyone before Duo made his appearance.

          When Heero announced these thoughts, Duo just shrugged and told him that it was amazing what love would do to you. He told him that he convinced himself he wouldn't fall in love with anyone on Earth and try not to get too close to any of them for this was just an observation, nothing more, but then he really fell in love and all those rules changed. He couldn't hide his feelings or care. 

          Friday was a day of turmoil for Heero. Duo went to school and he was to wait in anticipation for him to get home. Unfortunately he also had to go to work, so he only had a few minutes with Duo before he had to disappear. He decides to get a bouquet of roses for Duo when he returned. 

          However the flower shop was held up and by the time he got his order in, he had to go to work, so he told the lady he would pick them up later and disappeared. 

          The entire time Heero was worried about what had happened at school, if Duo returned unharmed, how he managed, if he would have to confront anyone when he got back. Worst of all he didn't have any time to call because since it was a Friday night the ice-cream shop he worked at was packed. 

          He was glad to get out of there quick, his two female co-workers telling him not to worry about it and get back to his boyfriend, joking with him the entire time, much to his distress. 

          He picked up the flowers on the way back and speed back to what he now considered 'their home'. 

          Just saying that was infinitely precious to him. Their home. Home was a place of love, a place where you care about what went on. Without love and caring, you merely had a house; it takes those two elements to make it a home. It was *their* home. Theirs. Duo and his. Together. It was a house of love and caring that they shared. That made it all the more special. 

          Upon return he saw Duo's yellow Mustang in the garage, which meant that he at least made it home, and it wasn't terribly beat up, which was another good sign. 

          He shut the garage and opened the door to find Duo in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. 

          Duo had turned around and his eyes grew large with the sight of the roses, already laden with tears. 

          "Heero...." he breathed before running into his arms. Heero caught him, picking him up and holding him to his chest as his fingers gripped the soft cotton of Heero's shirt and tears began to make their way slowly at first down his cheeks. 

          "They were so awful to me...." he sobbed, wrapping his arms tightly around Heero's neck. 

          Heero walked over to check the contents of the stove, the sobbing boy still held tight in his arms and made sure that nothing would burn before setting the flowers on the counter and walking Duo into the living room where he sat them both down on the couch. Duo refused to let go of him, and Heero rubbed his back soothingly, kissing at his wet cheeks. 

          "They...they hit me.... They called me a fag and a pansy and a wuss.... They...they told me to pull down my pants.... They wanted to see if I was as manly as they were; they wanted to hurt me! They told me...they told me to suck them off to see...to see if I was as good as a girl.... They threw me on the ground. When you were not here...I did not know what to do!"

          Heero noticed the bruises and scraps on his arms when he tugged up a little on Duo's sleeves. There were bruises on his face too, covered by the bangs. 

          There was a fire so deep in the pit of Heero's stomach, turning into a raging inferno that *anyone* should touch, let alone *hurt* his love...!

          He realized how tight his arms had become around Duo's body and loosened them a little. 

          He would *never* let someone hurt Duo again. Never.

          "Was no one there to protect you?!" His voice came out a lot angrier than he ever meant it and he felt Duo flinch in his arms and shake his head slowly. 

          "How can they expel us for showing love and just let people abuse you?!" His voice wasn't much calmer. 

          "Heero, please.... I am just upset, do not become too angry.... I will be okay...."

          "But it shouldn't have happened! I'm not just angry, I'm fucking pissed off! If I were there, they would have gotten the fucking shit beat out of them! I'm not letting you out of my site on school grounds again!" Heero decided immediately. 

          "Heero.... Please, think rationally...." Duo begged, stroking his cheek slowly as the both of them calmed down. He leaned up and gave him a slow kiss. "Let us discuss this further over dinner, okay?"

          Heero sighed and let Duo out of his arms, trying to contain the last of his wrath.

          When Heero walked in, he saw Duo setting the flowers, now in a vase, upon the table. 

          "The flowers are beautiful.... Thank you...." Duo spoke quietly. Just staring at him Heero realized how vulnerable and weak he truly was. "I think it goes without saying that I've never been given flowers...."

          Heero wrapped him into an unresponsive hug. 

          "I love you, Duo." 

          Duo took his hands off of him. 

          "I have been perverted, Heero. I...I do not know if I can love any part of humanity." 

          Heero was shocked, not to mention hurt. 

          "So don't love humanity -- just love me!" Heero cried in frustration, tears brimming his eyes. "Or did you never really love me? Am I just part of your experiment? Well I guess it doesn't matter, I've fucked up again! I should have made you stay here, but I didn't.... It's my fucking fault...."

          Heero stormed over and got himself some of the spaghetti Duo had been making and sat down, glaring at it and shoving his fork angrily into it. 

          "It's all my fault. I should just shoot myself...." 

          He looked over at Duo who was standing only a few feet away, his head bent in shame, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

          "Stop crying, Duo, it hurts me...." Heero told him gently, then became angered once more. "Maybe all I deserve is to see you hurt. God decided I've had all the hurt that could be place upon me so now I have to see you in pain."

          Suddenly Duo snapped.

          "I hate this place! I hate it here! Everything is all about pain and anger! I hate it!" 

          He then darted from the room and Heero heard the door slam.

          Slowly he continued to eat his dinner, standing half way though it and swiped all of the dishes off the table. Hot angry tears poured out of his eyes like acid rain from the sky. The roses lay in the pooled water, surrounded by glass, the petals crushed and a few falling off in the mess. 

          Heero leaned down, reaching for one, heedless of the glass cutting his skin. 

          "I caused him this pain," he whispered, his hand clamping on the stem, the thorns digging into his palm. 

          "I hurt him...." Heero picked up a long slip of glass, which was the vase, turning it over in his hand. 

          "Why? All I do...is hurt...." Heero's legs weakened and he fell against the wall. 

          "Duo's right.... There's so much hurt...."

          He slid down the wall. 

          "I'm just adding to that hurt...."

          Slowly he brought the glass against his skin. 

          "I love you, Duo," he whispered.

          'I'm still here,' was the first though in Heero's consciousness.

          His eyes drifted open to see Duo, back to him, dancing to the radio as he tidied up the room.

          'Ani Difranco', his brain registered a few seconds later. 

          It was a rather unsexy dance, but Heero's brain could definitely supply the pictures of a Duo who knew how to dance. 

          "Duo, what are you doing?" Heero asked, grinning. 

          Duo spun around, his eyes wide in shock. "Heero! You are awake!" 

          "Yeah...and I need to teach you how to dance," Heero teased, sitting and flashing him a grin. He realized he was in boxers and both his wrists were bandaged neatly. 

          He tried to ignore the thoughts of what he did last night.

          He was seriously intent on killing himself. When he passed out, with what must have been loss of blood, he thought he had died. Duo must have caught him just in time and closed the wounds....

          Duo couldn't hate him that much, then. 

          Duo was blushing lightly. "I did not mean for you to see...."

          "It's not that bad, Duo. Anyone can learn how to dance. I did."

          Heero stood and stretched for a moment. 

          " 'Freak' dancing is especially easy. You just let your body flow. It's especially easy if you have someone to dance with, because it's just like having sex with your clothes on," Heero explained, lifting his arms over his head and slowly, at first, letting his hips move in a slowly circular motion, letting his torso move along with that. A smile played at his lips when he saw Duo watching intently, obvious interest in his eyes as he watched his hips intently. 

          "I had to learn all of this when I joined Junior Varsity Football and started to get invited to parties. I had to impress the ladies. Normally, though, I'd have someone in front of me," Heero explained, moving his arms down so that his hands were resting on imaginary hips in front of him, slowly letting hips speed up in a more violent grinding motion. "And I'd kinda grind against someone else. I'm not really good with doing the other part, that's more difficult."

          He stopped and waited a moment. "Break dancing is just letting each movement be a harsh jerk to the beat of the song," Heero explained, showing an example. "I'm better at this because I have no life," he continued, showing off slightly as he pulled his heart from his chest, still beating, then swallowed it. [1]

          "Then you're last kind of dancing," Heero explained as the track shifted to 'Joyful Girl', "is your slow dancing. Sorry, but you can't do this with one person," Heero told him, grabbing Duo and pulling him to his chest, letting his arms wrap loosely around Duo's thin waist, rocking slowly to the beat of the music. 

          Carefully Duo's hands trailed up Heero's arms until he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Heero's neck, rocking back and forth with him.

          "Heero.... Do you remember what happened last night?" Duo asked softly, his face nuzzled into the soft cotton of Heero's shirt. 

          Heero nodded. "Yeah...."

          "Okay. I should not have said those things. I did not mean them."

          "No, Duo. You have that right," Heero replied. 

          "But I did not mean them! I care very much for you, I...I love you very much, Heero, I was just upset with myself.... I felt weak, I felt ashamed. You would have been able to defend yourself against them, but I failed."

          "How many guys were there, Duo? I'm not made of steel, you know." He chuckled sadly. "Just look at my fucking wrists."

          "Seven. They were all Varsity, I think.... I know you are not made of steel, Heero. That is one of the things that makes you so strong."

          Heero snorted. "No one would have been able to win against that. I guess.... I shouldn't have been so angry, but I was upset with myself for letting you be hurt. You are a part of me.... It hurts me so badly when you are in pain, I.... I can't stand it. To see that someone would hurt you.... I couldn't handle it. I.... It was my fault...."

          "No, Heero, that is not it at all. There was nothing you could have done. I had to go so I did and you could not so you did not. Actually, I think it was good for me. I suppose I needed some reality, but I have to be honest, I do not like it here. I do like some parts of humanity. I like this, I like you, I like Quatre and Trowa, but over all this is not an enjoyable place."

          "You have the right to feel that way. I feel that way most of the time anyway...." Heero admitted, wrapping his arms tighter around Duo. He didn't ever want to loose the other man, but it was very apparent that he could lose him at any moment.

          "Duo...."

          "Hmm?" 

          "I love you. Really. I guess it's just proof of how fucked humanity is. You're the only thing I love and you aren't from Earth. Isn't that ironic? Pathetic? I don't know anymore.... I'm going to stop pretending that I know anything." 

          "Then I guess I am just as pathetic as you for loving what I know is wrong, because I love you. Really. I guess it is just proof of how fucked I am."

          Heero tilted Duo's head to look into his eyes. 

          "You're the most beautiful thing about the Earth," he whispered, the tips of their noses rubbing against one another.

          "No," Duo breathed back. "You are...."

          Slowly Heero's eyelids dropped and he laid his open mouth against Duo's, letting his tongue slide over his bottom lip. Duo let his tongue join Heero's getting him to slip into the warm depths of Duo's mouth. 

          Gently Heero pinned Duo down onto the bed.

          Heero watched as Duo's eyes slid open. 

          "Hey lovely," Heero smiled, stroking his hair. 

          Duo smiled back at him, seeming content just to rest with him, his head on his chest. 

          "It's five o'clock." 

          Duo nodded. 

          "We've both missed work."

          Duo nodded again. 

          "It might be fun to go out to dinner."

          "Yes...." Duo agreed. 

          "You're not upset, are you?" Heero asked, worried.

          Duo sat up and looked down at Heero, trailing a long finger across his bottom lip. 

          "Upset? No," Duo replied, grinning. "I am not upset at all. It was.... I did not know that much.... You are amazing." 

          Heero blushed as Duo leaned down to steal a kiss. 

          "Where do you want to eat, then?"

[1] I don't know how else to explain it and I don't know if it has a name. .;

End Part Ten


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